I don't have much time to write. I have to go to bed. But tonight I had my first meeting with the self help group for BED (Binge Eating Disorder).
The group is run by an organsationt of volunteers who have / had eating disorders themselves. They do get subsidized by the government to fulfill a function of support for people with this type of trouble.
It was a good experience. What struck me most was this: I had been trying to figure out what their 'method' was, their take on how to treat BED.
At some point I realized that their take on it is that you MUST FIND YOURSELF. That appears to be their only 'strategy'. Learn what works for YOU. Do what YOU feel is best.
Isn't that 'funny'. Here I am reading book after book, trying to find out 'what to do' and it never occured to me that this, too, can be a 'take' on how to heal from BED. 'Just' be you. Hmm.
This would mean that the problem for those with BED is that they have a hard time, probably (also?) because of experiences they had in life, to 'be themselves'.
One of the participants who's been doing this for a long time said exactly this to a newcomer. The newcomer was talking about the thoughts that 'make her binge', like 'I'm not good enough' (etc.). The older participant said "it is THESE thoughts that are the disorder. Not what you do with food."
To be who you are may be much harder than to read a book or follow a method.
So, what I see so far (I'm always careful, it's only 'first sight' after all) is that they create an accepting atmosphere in which there is room for eveyone to talk about what's on their mind. An accepting atmoshphere. That sounds and looks good. For a first night!
It was also remarked that (almost?) all people with BED are 'therapeutic persons'. Always ready to help others. I'd read about this and that it's often also a matter of learning assertiveness and so on. But actually noticing, right away, that indeed all of the women in the room had this 'therapeutic attitude' was really striking.
... One other thing that struck me is that I found the participants and the facilitators SO beautiful! All of them. That was VERY weird to be in the company of nothing but women of my own size. I loved their curves. It felt like 'home'!
My mother, of course, was a large woman too. So maybe I associate 'curves' with 'warmth'...
In hindsight, I suddenly realize that the little oracle card we drew on the end of the sitting, for fun, said 'I choose my own way'.