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ILOVEMALI
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Getting over myself

Monday, September 09, 2013

I think that I need to get over myself.

I have a list on my desk, and I see it whenever I work at the computer (as in, all day, every day). It tells me what to do when I feel down.

1) do orchid stuff
2) read
3) spark
4) bake
5) walk
6) count my blessings
7) finish the family room
8) finish my desk
9) start D&K's filet crochet project
10) finish C-cubed's blanket

I'm actually doing some of these things, and it's not doing me much good.

My weight creeps on, my weight creeps off. My weight creeps on.

I'm missing my Dad. Last Thursday would have been his 84th birthday. I don't feel as if I've mourned him. I'm stressed at work. I hate J#2. There. I've said it. It's my insurance job, so, if things go south at the office, I can bring in a little more money when we need it (it's going to wedding expenses and taxes right now, as things are currently stable [knock on wood] at the office. But, in my business, it's strictly peanuts or shells). At J#2, I like some of the people I work with, and I'm tired of working 50 - 70 hpw. I work with urgency, and am one of the very few worker bees there who do so. I like having some time as a worker bee instead of being the queen bee like I am at the office, and what I bring to J#2 is not valued by the current management. I feel guilty because I don't see my mom as much as she wants because I'm busy and tired and depressed.

I have to get over myself and keep my eye on the prize.

On the upside, both the Giants and the 9ers won in SF yesterday. I still fit in my clothes (although my doctor says that our weight can fluctuate 10 pounds and we'll still fit in our clothes. Yep.) We went to visit The Boy and His Fiancee on Saturday and saw the cute little house that they just moved into and are renting. I was invited to go with The Fiancee, Her Mom, and Her Little Sister to see the wedding dress fitting, and she is lovely (I told her that the dress gilds the lily). I have tonight off from J#2.

Ok. No more whining. Start Winning.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v HEALTHY-SPARK
    It sounds like you've got a lot of stress and a lot of responsibilities! I see that you did get some 'me' time in over this weekend though -- so good for you. Maybe more of that, and some of the stress will be easier to manage. Hang in there!
    1077 days ago
  • v BOOKAPHILE
    What a lot of stress you've been dealing with lately! It's great that you've kept the weight gains to a creep AND that it also creeps off! We aren't perfect. You'll get back to doing what it takes to get where you want to go. You can always vent to us!
    1083 days ago
  • v KKKAREN
    You have the right to whine with your schedule!
    1083 days ago
  • v DALID414
    emoticon
    1083 days ago
  • v _LINDA
    Sorry for your loss of your Dad :(( Seems like you are too busy to even mourn him :( Take care of yourself as much as you can squeeze in those long hours. Too much work and stress and no rest and relaxation isn't good for your health..
    Maintaining is always better than gaining -keep up the good work!
    1084 days ago
  • v NWCOUNTRYDANCER
    emoticon
    1084 days ago
  • v 1CRAZYDOG
    You have a mighty full plate, and that doesn't much time for ME TIME. That gets mentally wearing! I'd be whining too! But honestly, you're not whining! You're venting . . . big difference to me. I see whiners as those who want someone else to solve their problems. That's sure not you! So VENT AWAY!

    It really does take lots of time to work thru grieving and there isn't a time schedule. So, you're doing the right thing allowing yourself to feel what you feel! That's a healthy thing to do.

    Ok, 'nuff said. HUGS! That's cool you got to go the dress fitting! Wahoo!!!
    1084 days ago
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