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I Know I Will

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Monday, September 09, 2013

A year and a half ago, I weighed 286 pounds. I was depressed, unhealthy and literally dying from obesity. I was tired all the time, and I spent most of my days just sitting or lying around...dreaming of "someday" when I would lose the weight.

Dreams are wonderful, but they won't come true unless you do something to MAKE them come true. And on March 1, 2012, I started doing what was necessary to make my weight loss dream a reality, through healthy eating and exercising.

In the beginning, I would spend a lot of time imagining how I would LOOK when I finally lost all the weight. I loved to daydream about what it would be like to be able to shop for clothes at stores that I never dared set foot in while weighing 286 pounds. I would envision myself in a smaller body, wearing nicer clothes and even some jewelry. I thought often about how wonderful it would be to never again have to wear clothes from the Big Men's or plus sized women's departments.

In all honestly, it never occurred to me to try to imagine how good I'd FEEL when I lost the weight. It was all about looks for me, at least at the start!

But a funny thing happened on the way to my goal! There I was, with my eyes so fixed on the horizon (where my goal size awaited) that for a while I didn't even notice the awesomeness right there in front of me! But when I finally started paying attention to the changes occurring in my body, I was amazed.

Not only did each lost pound show up in the way I looked and in how my clothes fit, it also showed up in the way I FELT. It showed up in the way I moved, in my energy levels and in my self esteem. With just TEN pounds gone, I could already feel the changes that were happening. With twenty pounds gone, hubby was noticing...he even said "You move like you feel good now." And it was true...I did feel good. I felt great!

As I continue to exercise and eat right, I feel better and better all the time. I'm about halfway to goal now, and I feel like a completely different person than I did a year ago. My only regret is that I waited so long to start!

And now when I daydream about how things will be when I ultimately reach my goal weight, I don't focus too much on how I will look. Instead, I try to imagine how much better I will feel. I already feel so good, its hard to fathom that I could ever feel any better! (But I know I will!)

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