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the weekend :/

Monday, September 09, 2013

I'm feeling pretty crappy right now, emotionally, but I'll get to that eventually.

The weekend started off ok. I finally filed my motion before leaving for the day - had planned to leave an hour early, but that definitely didnt happen. I did get home from work though and cleaned up my kitche and living room, getting that out of the way quickly so I wouldnt have to worry about it the rest of the weekend. J came over Friday night and I made my chicken parm casserole for dinner with a side of steamed broccoli. I love that recipe - I submitted it on sparkrecipes, too. J was exhausted so we ended up going to sleep but neither of us really got any sleep because my dog was acting crazy all night.

Saturday I had planned on going to Ikea and J didnt want to come but eventually agreed because I told him that everytime I go none of the employees ever help me with loading my boxes into my car - even though there is a sign that says they will, there is never anyone actually in the parking garage who works there, let alone offering to help :/ He was not happy about coming though. We didnt hit any traffic, so that was good. And since I had checked online first where everything would be located, we were able to bypass going through the showroom, and just grab our boxes and go. I ended up spending $250 for a new corner desk, a desk chair, and a bookcase. About $75 less than I had planned on spending because I bought smaller desks and a different, cheaper (but more comfortable) desk chair. The desks are smaller in that they are thinner, and not as long, but with the corner unit I got, I ended up getting much more space that I previously had. And because they only had a white corner desk in stock, the white actually brightens up my craft room and makes the space much bigger (even though I wasnt so thrilled about a white desk for a craft room). When we got home, J put together all of my furniture even though I told him I could do it myself. It definitely took less time when he put it together. But he was feeling really crappy and sick so he went home afterwards and was sick the rest of the weekend :/ I was pretty bummed because it was a beautiful weekend and we had really wanted to do something fun for the weekend, but that didnt happen. I mowed the lawn (front and back), hit up the craft store to get supplies for a wreath I am making for J, and then spent the night home watching netflix and crafting.

Sunday I woke up way early and couldnt fall back asleep, so when my alarm went off at 6am to go for a run it wasnt that hard to get out of bed. I ended up doing 9 miles. My plan was 8-10, so that falls directly in the middle and I was pleased with it. I decided to run on base for a change of scenery. I started just before 7am and there was no one else out there with me for the first 30 minutes. I did eventually run passed the installation commander twice (in opposite directions) and there were a few other people eventually. I felt I was running at an easy pace, but it was much faster than pre-vacation, but I'm not going to complain. The point where I always seem to struggle on this path was not a struggle at all this time, either. Guess my long runs on hills has been paying off! I felt particularly crappy after my run. Occassionally this happens and I dont want to eat anything and feel nauseas. I stopped at the bagel place on my way home and had to force myself to eat my bagel. :/ I also had a protein shake, and then eventually felt better and showered. I did my grocery shopping and then when I came home I had some leftovers for lunch and threw some ingredients into the slow cooker to start cooking for the week. I did some cross stitching for a few hours while watching netflix and doing 2 loads of laundy. I also baked some cookies and then cooked dinner (becuase the slow cooker meal wasnt going to be ready until bed time). I was also feeling particularly upset about things with J. So I went to his house. Big mistake. I know he wasnt feeling well, but I was also feeling left out. Or lonely. I dont know. I just hate that we only spend time together on the weekends, and then if he gets sick it means no time at all together. I know he cant control getting sick. But I was just particularly upset because I feel like aside from the weddings (that he obviously didnt even want to be at) we havent really spent anytime together. This of course caused us to have a fight. We dont really fight ever, but when we do, its always about this. And he is clearly getting frustrated with me for not understanding that he spends all of his free time with me, but his only free time is the weekends because he works long hours, even when he is at home after work he is still doing work - course prep. Its not like I think he is off having this other social life without me. I just feel lonely. We were both getting really frustrated with each other because we just say the same things over and over again. And I could tell he was I think mad at me before I left. Which wasnt my intention. :( And since he doesnt normally get mad at me, I am really upset and honestly really worried about our relationship. I want us to spend more time together, and this whole fight could end up leading to us breaking up :( Great way to start the week. Couldnt possibly feel crappier right now.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1141 days ago
    I agree - men are the worst when they are sick! Maybe a little soup and some cookies will make him feel better. I totally understand - I hate it when my hubby has to work so much and then I am crazy been when he is home, but you just have to make the best of it when you can better together. Don't take it to hard - he needs down time too. I've learned over the last 15 years - that they need time to decompress too. Give him that little bit and things will get better. Good thing is that you had a good run this weekend - be happy about that and that you got a lot of your to do list done! Hope your week turns around!
    1141 days ago
    Everyone has tough times in relationships but hopefully the two of you can work past it. Give him a little time since he hasn't been feeling well he might be oversensitive right now.
    1141 days ago
    I am sorry that you and J are fighting. It seems (and you commented) that this is the common argument - maybe what you want and what he wants are two different things. I have seen two serious relationships (marriages) fall apart recently and it's because what the couples wanted from each other they were not able to give; each person had to change so much to be in the relationship that they no longer were themselves. This is not a happy way to live. I hope that J is not really mad at you and just crabby because he is sick. But, since this is a recurring fight maybe ya'll should try to come up with a solution that both of ya'll can live it, even if it involves an uncomfortable talk, so you can finally move past it and both be happy.

    I hope the rest of the day turns around for you emoticon
    1141 days ago
    1141 days ago
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