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Living Life On Life's Terms(updated photos)

Sunday, September 08, 2013

I love to hide. I gain weight and I hide. I avoid people at all costs because of how ashamed I am. Unfortunately, I have been hiding most of my adult life.

I took a courage step today. I actually posted photos of myself to my Sparkpage ~ How I looked this summer (20 lbs higher then) and a bit of photo history of my sizes. This is the first time ever posting "fat" photos.

I usually avoid cameras or delete photos because I don't want to remember how I look. My weight swings have been drastic. Every time I get into an uncomfortable size, the shame has been so great that I hide from the world.

Today, I am Living Life On Life's Terms. I am not using food to escape. I exercised today and broke a sweat! I am blogging and posting photos so all of you "Sparkpeople" can see who I am. I am pushing shame out of my life.

No one has ever said, "Wow you gained a ton of weight!" Nor have they acknowledge the drastic swing up the scale several times throughout my life in any way. I guess people don't know what to say. Maybe they don't even notice?

What they think of me is none of my business! emoticon

I have escaped through food, or lack of , since I was a tweenie. (Back then, there was no such label.) Today, I face you with who I am and where I have come from.

I don't want to be hiding anymore. I won't hide anymore.

PSSSSST! AFTER KEEPING THE FAT PHOTOS ON THEIR, I JUST DON'T WANT TO ADMIT HOW I LOOK. SUCH SHAME…. I removed the fat photos….
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v JESSIG5
    Good for you.

    And there are plenty of us here on Spark who would be glad to be your weight even at your heaviest!!
    1049 days ago
  • v ANGORA4
    So proud of you, what an incredible statement. You are ready to face today, and do what it takes to bring you to a healthier tomorrow.
    emoticon
    Living your life for you, not based on others' opinions, but based on your own best interests--very impressive!
    1049 days ago
  • v BARCLE
    emoticon
    1050 days ago
  • v PURPOSEPOWER95
    What they think of me is none of my business! I copied what you said. So now your true journey begins. Best wishes on it and do not let other define who you are. There is more to you than your appearance or weight. emoticon emoticon emoticon Get on your mark GET set GO!
    1050 days ago
  • v IMREITE
    i think life is full of escapes. and we tent to uses them in way that makes all the problems worse. i tend to hide or try not to get attention for myself. Although there are times i still want to i have been trying to do new things or ust do simple things that i am too shy to do.
    1050 days ago
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