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Loose Ends....

Sunday, September 08, 2013

I'm not really happy with the title, but somehow it seems to fit. The last few days have been some odd ones.....unusually so. A month ago, my boyfriend lost a close friend and punkmate to a drug overdose. Not a pretty thought, but it happens....friend was supposed to be sober for a couple years. It came as a shock to his friends to hear meth got him. The bassist to the punk band lives up here on the mountain, and had just talked to him maybe half an hour before estimated time of death....so he's taking it pretty hard.

Recently, one of the chics from the punk scene has been calling my boyfriend~she claims to have been the friend's fiancee.....yet, he never said anything to any of his close friends, my boyfriend didn't even know he had a girlfriend....they mostly talked about punk stuff and his son, he was super proud of his son. (side note: live in well populated Native area and trying not to use "names") The punkchic somehow got involved with a shaman woman who has put in her head mercenaries broke into his house, poisoned a popsicle, and a huge conspiracy....she has somehow involved his parents, claiming other people believe her story too.

My boyfriend is trying to be a good friend, but he is grieving as well....and the story she is claiming is pretty crazy! The punkchic isn't listening to reason, decided to drive up from the Valley to where we live without telling my boyfriend she was coming until she got here......wanting to meet up with him in a secluded place so not overheard or spied upon, give him something personal of the punkfriend's, do a little ceremony and burn some white sage. My boyfriend doesn't even like to go to funerals.....has been to too many in his young life....so you can imagine how uncomfortable this made my boyfriend feel. Then in reality, it was like ten times worse.....serious anxiety and totally change in physical appearance (*tips me off he isn't doing "well").

The whole chemistry of the house changes.....I can feel it. I have my own issues to deal with at work....panic attack before bed because forgot to take a cake home totally had to butcher in order to make a customer's cake order. Not just one cake, but two.....neither of them "easy" for the next day.....during the busiest time of day, phone ringing off the hook....barely caught her name let alone a phone number to call and explain MY mistake. So I built and frosted my "mess up" cake and left the other cake to the boss (*who incidentally forgot to put the CAKE in the second cake) Had to explain my mistake, and buy the cake I butchered. The boss doesn't think it's busy....and I can't wait to just decompress~hard to do when my boyfriend is spinning the wheels of insanity trying to make sense of nonsense.

The other issue for me is extremely personal~eight years ago, I lost my older brother to a car accident....he was also close friends with drugs and alcohol. I was living in AZ at the time......and heard crazy rumors, from a cousin~the rumor was my brother committed suicide. I would never believe it in a million years.....but the cousin did enough.....so commit suicide, an obvious suicide. I don't like hashing threw these old emotions~grieving is a continuous process. It doesn't help, in strange ways.....my brother comes to me, in thoughts triggered by song, color, images i.e. FB memes. My mom affirming a feeling of him being around on the same day.....hard things for me to wrap my head around....

And I was never one for loose ends. She left the mountain today~supposedly after doing a ceremony with the band bassist (*which when I asked my boyfriend, I said, "that doesn't sound like him to me, does it to you honey?" He's known him alot longer than I have, he replied,"no, doesn't sound like him at all") So we are leaving it at that....although curious as to if the bassist actually went out in the wilderness with the punkchic. My boyfriend and I both agree circulating crazy rumors and involving family members is not an appropriate line to cross.
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