Saturday, September 07, 2013
Maybe a 30 second drive to the nursing home was a bad idea. Been coming and going more often during the day and emotionally exhausted when I am at home and 'shutting down' in everyway especially physically in between visits. No clue how to handle this phase of life.
Hubs brought home a pizza, blah. It's calling my name.
Not having had kids or similar responsibilities has left me totally unprepared and STUNNED with how fast your 'personal time' seems to fly out the window when someone is relying on you. I have no inclination to do anything for myself. Irritation level factor ...off the charts. Combined with a bald husband who is always cold, I'm isolating myself in my bedroom where I can window unit a/c it until it's meat locker temperature! Even Ebay browsing ::Cough, cough, buying..cough sputter:::has lost it's appeal! Holy cow!
There are two sweet old ladies there though that I kind of look forward to seeing, not sure what their issues are but they are always offering to pray for you or sing you a hymn, I told 'em to do both and keep 'em coming. I need all the prayers I can get and so does my mom! One of 'em came up behind me to tell me I had beautiful legs! I said, "Thank you, I have two a matched set!" She about spit her teeth out laughing. Honestly, I look forward to seeing them more then my mom. How horrible am I?
I was mad upon finding my mom at lunch today trying to eat a fairly thick ham sandwich....without her teeth. I got the teeth adn even her and took her to McDonalds for a fish sandwich , those things are so mushy, you don't even need teeth in the first place. She ate most of it and before I could stop her put down teh window and chucked out the rest onto the street. Oh well. (It's biodegradable but I worry animals will be drawn into traffic and get hit). Had intended to stop at my house so she coudl shower. I've asked for a shower for her everyday and she hasnt had one yet. BUt by the time we were done with the lunch trip, I was glad to have a place to take her back to. I was soooo irritable because while she had her hearing aids in , her voice must sound loud to her, so she barely whispers everything. I can't understand anything and get annoyed and have to constantly tell her "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!! SPEAK UP OR SHUT UP cuz your driving me nuts! Nice daughter huh?
No workout today, barely looked in teh mirror...no make up, no thought put into clothes...that is my gauge for how stressed I am , if I will walk out of the house looking like crap, I know it's bad. I will however have to apply myself to laundry before long as it is stacked ont eh bed I'd like to get into,here at some point tonight!!!
Tomorrow. Maybe I'll work out tomorrow. Sigh.