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    WESTCOASTGIRL2   10,836
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Saturday, September 07, 2013

Today my husband of 19 years told me he wants to separate.

I am totally devastated right now. I've asked him to give this one more try -- this time differently -- with counseling. He has not agreed. He wants to find someone new.

There's much more that he said, but I can't bear it. My stomach is turning right now.

Should be pretty easy to lose weight now as it's made my appetite go to h__.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JUNEPA 9/9/2013 11:50PM

    I was so stunned when I read your blog I didn't know what to say. I like to be an encourager, I hope things go well for you and the kids, I am so sad a husband and father would leave.
Take care, do your best, you can't do better than your best.

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CBRINKLEY401 9/9/2013 3:56PM

    I am so sorry. Please don't blame yourself for this. It takes two people to sustain a marriage, and if one isn't willing, there's nothing the other one can do. Sometimes people make up their minds to do something and then try to justify it by putting the blame on others.
I don't understand why someone would put 19 years of marriage and 2 kids aside without even trying just to go look for greener grass on the other side of the fence. It all sounds so selfish, at least to me, on the part of the person walking away.

Please consider counselling for yourself, even if he isn't willing to go. The other things he said that you can't bear right now seem to have wounded you deeply in addition to everything else. You have been working hard to improve your health and to set a good example (and have been succeeding too), and you need to continue to take care of yourself so you will also be able to help your kids through this as well.

Please take care.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Ouch. Sorry you are going through this! Best of luck.


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SLIMSHANN 9/9/2013 12:45AM

    I am sorry for your loss... You have a hard road ahead. Some say that time heals all. After my experience, I decided that was not true, but it does allow us to learn to live with the change and the pain. Take your time, allow yourself to grieve. Lucky you are already a spark member, a great many sounding boards are already here. Stay with Spark, talk. Women need to talk. AND you don't always have to be strong. you just have to surround your self with strong people. Sparkers will get you through.
Be gentle on yourself. It most likely doesn't have anything to do with you, your person or your mind. Maybe he is just a person with no follow through. As Becky 0111 says Live well!

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BECKY0111 9/8/2013 10:55AM

    I am so sorry for your pain. Blessing in disguise? I don't mean that to sound cold. A man who would leave you doesn't deserve you. Let him go and hold your head high.

I predict he will want you back when he sees your live going on without him. I believe it was Ivana Trump who said, "living well is the best revenge", but she may have been quoting someone else.

Remember to take care of yourself!


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BELDONDOG1 9/7/2013 9:01PM

    After 19 years it must be rough. I made it through 12 years before my husband had an affair and got the chick pregnant. Since I don't know you, I don't know your feelings. Are you still in love with him and if you are, is he worth the fight for saving your marriage? I just read a few other of your blogs and I see that you have kids.
I know that children need both a mother and a father, but I'm thinking they are old enough to understand what is happening. You seem to be blaming yourself for all things that are happening--I just can't believe that you are the entire cause of this
problem. No one is perfect, but no one is 100% wrong either. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. If you have a lot of friends, I'll just remember you in my prayers and hope that everything turns out the way it should. Good Luck!

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GENRE009 9/7/2013 8:52PM

    It is hard to let go of someone you love. Not every one can go thru the down times, and still stay in love. Loosing your best friend is the pitts.Sometimes you are just blind sided by the outcome. There are many reasons people leave each other. This falls under the old saying in time, "Time heals all." Some people just don't want to work at relationships! They move on, and then have the same thing happen with someone else. I'm sure in time you will find someone who will love you without asking them to try .I know you need a hug, my thoughts and prayers go out to you! Take care. eva.

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56ROSE 9/7/2013 8:46PM

    HUGS!! I'm so sorry for your pain. I've been there more than once ( 3 divorces) but I have learned from my experiences and moved on with my life. I am now happily married. My first marriage ended after 16 years. I know you will find the strength to get through this and be there for your children. Take care of yourself. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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