Saturday, September 07, 2013
What is probably going to be my number one personal challenge is being honest with myself and less shy about tracking what I eat in this early stage. OKAY, so I'm NOT eating PERFECTLY- YET! It's early. I'm not going to make drastic changes that will stick unless I take it slow and go through whatever processes I need to understand how I got to this point and how to manage- if not reverse- the situation.
I won't change anything for very long, and will probably slip off the wagon again, if I beat myself about what I'm doing, now, and not focus on the changes I want to make. I can't look at where I am with dread that I'm not going to get where I want to be. Like the guy said in the Secret, This is who I WAS- Who I can be is not this. It STARTS here!
I want to be slim. I want to see what it would be like to get down to 185. I want to see if I can make the kind of changes that would keep me within ten pounds of that goal. If I can get down to the weight Honored Professionals think I should be (about half of where I am, now,) GREAT! MY PERSONAL Goal weight in 185.
It's too soon to say what I'm doing is bad- anything. I'm doing what I can do to get where I want to be. I might still eat some stuff that might be "Trigger" foods. That will change. I'm taking steps (Almost LITERALLY!) to get more active and positive. The eating will probably change more gradually.
I bet this is echoed throughout this site. I honor my slimming colleagues. I am grateful for this space, this place I can go to to learn and to connect with others who are on the path. It's kind of funny because, before I started this (This time and last,) I would do a modified Buddhist Refuge prayer found in "The Beginner's Guide to Insight Meditation" (Smith; Wiseman.) And I think I found a refuge, here, trusting my capacity to awaken to better health, coming to understand the ways of living that can bring about my freedom from sour habits and beliefs and people who can help support me on this path.
Thank you. I think this can help me. I will release my fears and track the foods I eat As Well As what I do during a day- in fitness and personal intentions. I can be gentle with myself and find ways to do better more often. It's too early to say I'm still eating poorly. It's barely been a week into this try! Let's see what happens in a couple of months. It might be around the holidays, but I'll learn what I need to, then, as well!
Let's see what happens.