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I Don't Want To Forget

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Saturday, September 07, 2013

I've lost 71 lbs since March 1, 2012. I've gained strength, flexibility and endurance. I've celebrated so many awesome non-scale victories, such as being able to sit in the drivers seat without the steering wheel pressing against my belly. I've gone from wearing size 3X t-shirts (like the red one) to wearing size XL and L. (The green one is L.) My self esteem has increased.

So many things have changed since I lost that weight, and although I've still got around 70 more pounds to lose, I have to say that I love where I am right now. I'm not thin, but I FEEL thin. I feel healthy. And I'm so proud of how far I've come. I don't ever want to take my progress for granted.

I don't ever, EVER want to forget the way I felt when I weighed 286 lbs. I want to always remember how it felt to have to wear elastic waist jeans instead of regular jeans with a button and zipper. Even those elastic waist jeans were so tight on me that they'd leave marks on my stomach.

I don't want to forget how it felt to wake up in the morning, tired before I even got out of bed, aching all over, getting out of breath just walking to the bathroom. I don't want to forget having to buy clothes just because they were big enough, not because I actually liked them.

I don't want to forget how I avoided my husbands embraces, because I was embarrassed that when he hugged me, his arms didn't even go all the way around me.

I want to always remember how I struggled with exercise at the beginning of my journey. I want to remember how I couldn't even workout for 15 minutes without having to rest. I want to remember when I couldn't do a plank, or when certain yoga poses were too difficult for me to get into simply because my belly got in the way.

I don't want to ever forget where I began this journey. I don't want to forget the happiness I've felt with every NSV along the way. I want to remember where I started, and I want to always feel joy and gratitude when I realize how far I've come.

I still have a long way to go on my journey to my goal size. I will get there eventually. In the meantime, I want to enjoy the journey, and never take my progress for granted.

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