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Overcoming Rotten Attitudes

Saturday, September 07, 2013

I am working on two attitudes that are causing me some problems with my weight management. Right now I am a healthy BMI. I would like to be thinner though. I'm talking about 14 pounds. It's not a lot of weight. I have to stop beating myself up about it. It's stupid.

Well, the first attitude I am slipping into is self-pity. I should be grateful for my health and my life. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself because I don't have the most glamorous life and job. I don't have lots of extra income to spend and save. I'm not known for high intelligence or great beauty. Big deal! I'm not going to sit around and feel inferior. As Popeye says, " I yam what I yam."

The other attitude I have been slipping into is the desire for more. More food, more stuff, more attention more love, whatever. The never enough syndrome. I have more than enough. I need to practice gratefulness.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    i too have often fallen into the eternal chase, get what i want, then want something else, it is hard to shake. to me, you are known for your artistic talent, your love of animals, your care for others, your hot bod, adventurous nature & zeal for hoola-hooping. we each focus on the worst bits of ourselves instead of seeing the larger picture. you are a vivacious, smart, empathetic person, and i wouldn't want to be in a world without you. take heart, feeling the way you do is challenge with a lesson to be learned. i trust you to work on the puzzle! :D
    1558 days ago
    I have found that the best recipe for wanting is to give. Volunteer! Even just a couple of hours a week. It makes me feel better every week. You are right that sinking into self-pity is no way to go about things. Then again, believing that you deserve wonderful things is not crazy. And making things happen for yourself that you truly desire-- hopefully more than expensive things-- will also bring you great joy and success. As a wise, wise woman said to me the other day, "live on the edge of your comfort zone. It's where the magic happens." emoticon
    I have had to push myself beyond what I thought was possible during this transformation I've been going through as an unemployed but now fit person! We are capable of amazing things. But we all deserve to feel beautiful and brainy and special, not just not inferior. Love thyself, not merely accept emoticon

    I bet you those 14 pounds add what some would describe as "lusciousness."

    Don't underestimate its power!
    1562 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/7/2013 7:32:55 PM
    That last sign did it for me. emoticon
    1562 days ago
    Is that really your Grandma?
    Lots of good ideas here-
    but you already know the secret to happiness is to be grateful for what you have.
    How about a daily gratitude blog?
    1562 days ago
    Grandma here, You can't take it with you! When you get older you realize the things that mean a lot to you are not things! I believe the answers to self pity and wanting more; come from inside; not outside yourself. When I was deep in that mode ( I suspect we all are there at one time or another) people came into my life that needed ME, through helping them--I was helped. In my case it was driving and running errands for a good friend that was alone and ill. Or another, pitching in and helping with a young family that was struggling. All around us there are people that truly have less and need more; just to be OK.
    A gratitude list is also a great tool, doesn't have to be fancy; just a list. What would you miss if you didn't have it? Me? health, family, friends, love music, Sugar and Xena, people to do things with, talk with, share with. etc. etc. etc. You are on the right track. Putting your concerns into words, sharing here, reaching out. Be well and take it one day at a time. Enjoy what you do have now! emoticon
    1562 days ago
    I've struggled for many years with wanting more no matter how much I have, and came to realize that we live in a culture where success is defined by acquisition. So I looked around for a different way of thinking about things and found mindfulness (see books by Jon Kabat-Zinn). The mindfulness approach helps you learn to desire less, which also keeps you living in the here and now. For me, it helped to learn how to spend my life in the moment rather than to live my life longing.
    1562 days ago
    I really appreciate all the feedback! It helps me think and process through this kind of stuff. I really value your viewpoints. emoticon
    1562 days ago
    Gee -- I guess I should apologize for taking up so much space on your blog, but obviously, your words hit home with me since I often deal with many of the same issues.
    Please feel free to delete my comments if you'd like, and it won't hurt my feelings.
    1562 days ago
    Love the two visuals! I think that "never enough" syndrome gets to most of us sometimes.

    Although I am far from an ideal BMI yet, I know what you mean about wanting more. I was having a convervation this week with a friend about some of those very same things. And it's not wrong to want more for your life -- that's how we make ourselves better people.

    Here are a few things I've been doing for the past few months that have helped me:

    This may sound silly -- just watching cooking shows on TV makes my mouth water, but after the shows, I don't really want those foods. Sure, I think they would be fun to cook, and I know I would enjoy them if I had them, but somehow just watching the shows satisfies my immediate need for food. And I'm not a big proponent for denying yourself something -- just have it in small quantaties maybe once a week. And I'm not saying this will work for everyone, but it works for me.

    I'm also a member of Pinterest. I can pin china tea sets, places to travel, room decorating ideas, recipes -- you name it -- to my heart's desire on my boards. They are now mine, there on those boards. But I don't have to really own them. I can just look at them. I have no idea how this works for me, but it does.

    Have you ever kept a gratitude journal? Make one from recycled materials or buy a simple new blank book, and keep it by your bed. Each night before you go to sleep, just write three sentences or three phrases about things you have been thankful for that day. Don't make it a big job, just record your gratitude in writing. I am on a couple of Spark Teams that suggest keeping an art journal with collages or Zentangles each day, but I allowed myself to get bogged down that way, and I eventually quit writing in those journals. So for me, just a word or a phrase or a sentence each night seems to be enough to help me more appreciate what I have.

    These are older publications, and you may have already read them. Sarah Ban Breathnach has written some very good books that have helped me through difficult, or even ordinary times. You might find them at your library, or there are used books online for very reasonable prices. "Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy" is her first book, and come to think of it, that's where I first read about the gratitude journal. The next one is "Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self," and the third one is "Romancing the Ordinary: A Year of Simple Spendor." Bottom line, she speaks to me, and maybe you would find more peace of mind in her words.

    As a retired librarian, I have no suggestions on how to keep from wanting more books! I end up "rescuing" too many books from used book sales thrift stores!

    Best wishes. You've made a good start at overcoming these troubling thoughts by just writing about them. And you DO have a lot going for you, just as you are!


    1562 days ago
    So, immediately I wonder if you are getting enough?

    There's nothing wrong with wanting more if you don't get enough.

    Often, I say to myself that I have enough...but I know it's a lie. Sometimes it's food. Sometimes it's attention. Sometimes it's accomplishments. I know I'm lacking...but I tell myself there are so many people out there who have LESS than I do! Then I make myself feel guilty for not being grateful.

    My suggestion is to feel grateful for what you have, but be open to the idea that you might want more...because you deserve more.
    1562 days ago
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