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SUNSHINE65
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FUNNIES 9/5

Friday, September 06, 2013

President Obama is trying to get congressional approval before we attack Syria. And if that works, there’s talk we might even consider bringing back the rest of the Constitution. -Jay Leno

Syria's President Assad referred to President Obama as weak. Obama is so angry he plans to ask Congress for permission to come up with a good comeback. -Conan O'Brien

Diana Nyad swam from Cuba to Florida without using a shark cage. She swam all the way from Cuba to Miami — accompanied by five Cuban pitchers. -David Letterman

Today during the hearing on Syria, John McCain was caught playing poker on his smartphone. I was like, "What? John McCain knows how to use a smartphone?" -Craig Ferguson

About $30 million in $100 bills had to be destroyed because of a printing problem. Isn't that unbelievable? The only thing we know how to do right in this country is print money and we even screw that up. -Jay Leno

A new report says 60 percent of teenagers don't have even a basic knowledge of finances. Although in fairness, I'm 38 and I just found out this year that a 401(k) is NOT a type of marathon. -Jimmy Fallon

They're now making the first smartphone that's not made overseas. It's made in Texas. It's also the first smartphone that doubles as a handgun. -Conan O'Brien
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