Thursday, September 05, 2013
I have always known that there is no one that is immune to pain, whether it is physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or any combo therein.
I am learning that food isn't my comfort.
I am learning that today is the day we have to work with, improve ourselves in, love, laugh, cry, in, not tomorrow, not yesterday, but today, this very moment in time. That means that I cannot look to correct past mistakes tomorrow. I cannot forgive someone tomorrow, I cannot encourage someone tomorrow, I can not look back with regret on the things I could have done, should have done, didn't say, didn't do.
THIS IS IT FOLKS!
So, I know this is probably no big revelation to any of you, you are aware that we only have today.. but I have decided that the death of my friend Kim, the death of my kitty RT, the surgery I had in August, the new girl that will live with us for a year, that no amount of stress is going to make food be my idol.
If I use food for comfort then it is an idol.
If I use food to mask my feelings, then it is an idol.
If I use food because I am angry, then it is an idol.
If I am sad, happy, fearful, or remembering any past hurts, and eating to assuage any thing other than true hunger than it is an idol.
So, this day, this very moment, love yourself enough to lay down your idols.
There is a song on the Christian radio that has spoken volumes to me, "hello, my name is regret..." it talks about the self dialogue we have, or the words that we internalize about ourselves, or had spoken over us.
If you get a chance, listen to it or look it up.
This day I chose life.
This day I chose love.
This day I chose to forgive.
This day I chose my words carefully, and acted with kindness.
This day I let you go first.
This day I loved myself to lay down my idols.