Thursday, September 05, 2013
Life in general is pretty good. I have a job that I absolutely love, and I have a student teacher this quarter which is great and makes my job even more interesting. I have a house that I love, I have family that I love and makes me smile and that I'm grateful for every day. I really don't have any excuse for why I'm struggling so much.
But I'm having trouble staying on track right now.
I'm giving into temptation left and right. Every morning I wake up with resolve, sometimes it lasts all day until dinner or after dinner, sometimes it's gone by the time I walk out the door in the morning. Temptation is around me all the time and I feel great when I can make the right choices, I just wish I could make the right choices more often. Like yesterday, I didn't have any chocolate during the meeting we had! Yay! But I did have a donut after school for a friend's birthday. So I know it could be worse, but I know it could be a hell of a lot better.
I think t hat it will help that tonight we get to put our furniture back into our living room after having our floors redone, so we'll have a kitchen table again. And everyone will be back in their own rooms. I'll be able to cook again. Comfortably. For a while I was doing the paleo type diet that my dietician recommended for me last year except allowing myself yogurt, fruit and granola for breakfast and coleslaw (which has sugar in the dressing) and breaded chicken for lunches, but I'm thinking I have to cut all of that out at least for a few weeks. Go back to eating hard boiled eggs and fruit for breakfast, meat and veggies for lunch and dinner and nothing sweet (other than the fruit). Go to eating pistachios and string cheese for a snack instead of an apple with PB. 2 weeks. I should do it for 2 weeks and see how it goes. I'll count down. If I do well those two weeks and I still want that other stuff, I'll allow it every now and then. It's hard to wrap my head around, but I know I need to do it.
My parents are coming into town tomorrow for the weekend (yay! My dad finally gets to meet Milo!) so that will be hard. I will do the best I can while they're here (TRULY the best I can) and then Sunday will be day 1 of my two week "cleanse."