Our body, Ourselves!
Thursday, September 05, 2013
Sorry last couple of Blogs haven't been "in my own words"....the songs resinate with my spirit. The following article, are almost exactly my words just spoken by someone else! lol
Our bodies, ourselves
by Sarah on SEPTEMBER 4, 2013
This piece seems to be making the rounds today on FB and Twitter. And I don’t particularly care for it.
Firstly, why is it advocated that females be categorically blocked for ‘inappropriate’ photos/posts when the pictures featured on the post show males participating in the same behavior? They are half clothed and showing off their bodies for the camera.
I have a daughter and two sons. I do my best to keep the misogyny at bay.
Also, I don’t want my sons to be proud of their bodies while directly or indirectly teaching my daughter to be embarrassed or ashamed of hers. We all have bodies. Whoa. I know. This may be the first you’ve heard of this, but I promise it is true.
The writer references a female taking a picture in her bedroom and is clearly NOT WEARING A BRA. Yet, she’s not topless, at least as far I can tell from the description. Here’s another truth, for the most part, we ALL have nips. Males and females and everyone in between. But the irony is, I can see your sons’ exposed nipples in their pictures.
I often don’t wear a bra. And people have seen me braless. In public. On a regular basis. I also nursed three shorties for at least a year each. So the boobs and nips were out and about pretty often. I also lost control of a strapless dress I was wearing on a busy street once, but I digress. I am not ashamed (well the strapless dress debacle was a skosh embarrassing). I also love the pin up look. I don’t like it because society tells me to. Or the Detective wants me to. I find it fun. I like the sometimes sexy pics. I like to sometimes feel sexy. For myself. No one else. I am not ashamed of myself or my body. This thing has produced THREE amazing people. I love me.
We don’t use cutesy names for body parts. There are no ta-tas or who-has or wee-wees here. We have breasts, vulvas, penises, etc. Just like we have elbows and toes and noses. Well, we don’t all have all those things, but you know what I mean.
I am a huge proponent of ‘be careful what you put on the internet.’ My concerns aren’t photos where you may or may not see the hint or shadow of a covered up nipple. It’s more ‘do you want this out in the world forever?’ I’ve had the misfortune of reading the ask accounts and Twitter feeds of shorties that caused me to blush. And I do not blush easily.
At the same time, I want my shorties to A. be proud of themselves and their bodies and the amazing things they are capable of. and B. I want them to have healthy sex lives when they get older. I want them to appreciate their bodies and their sexuality. I want them to enjoy sex.
I also want them to respect themselves as well as the opposite sex. I don’t want my sons to objectify women. Or my daughter to be objectified.
Our children, and daughters in particular, get so many damn messages a day about how a woman should be. We should have big boobs, but tiny waists. We should be thin, preferably healthy. We should be sexy, but not slutty. Save yourselves for marriage (though it’s unlikely they will). Don’t have sex, even though we bombard you with sexuality everyday. Don’t do this. Do that.
I call bullsh*t. We are trying to change the narrative. Some more so than others. When a department produces a ridiculous shirt which has the underlying message that girls are meant to be pretty, but not smart, social media have a field day and the shirt gets pulled. Now, can we also make a concerted effort to stop persecuting our women and girls for having the bodies they were born with? Can we stop making them feel badly that they have breasts and hormones and burgeoning sexualities? Can we at least drop the double standard?
Yes, we need to filter what we put out into the universe. Yes, I hope that my shorties don’t do something online that they will regret. The best way to do this? Talk to them. Teach them. Model for them. Have an ongoing conversation. Parent.
And even that doesn’t guarantee anything, but it’s a damn good place to start.
What do you think?
P.S. This was written quickly and while my brain was on overdrive so please excuse any grammar/spelling/run ons/etc. Thank you kindly.