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    PRINCESS_SOFI   12,350
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Medifast Day 57 -- Obsessing

Thursday, September 05, 2013

emoticon I feel like 99% of my thoughts lately are about my weight. I keep thinking of where I am and how far to go and how many pounds until I reach ___ milestone.

Once I reach the 140s I will be at the lowest weight since 2011. I remember because that's basically the last time I went outside to spend time with people or when I enjoyed shopping. After I crossed the 150 line... I stopped living. For the past two years I have been going to work all day at a job I hated and coming back to a dark house where I drank until I passed out. Repeat the next day. I was so severely depressed that nothing could get me to care. I was forced to having my wedding at 160 lbs and I can't even look at the photos. I can't recall a time where I even went to see a movie. Going to the mall gives me such anxiety I almost always have to use a sedative.

I'm so close. So close to life. I hunger for my life. 9.2 lbs away.

110 days left. emoticon

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
XIAOLINMEI 9/6/2013 7:12AM

    I have experienced heavy depression too and it was related partially to my weight gain. I know the feeling of seeing yourself as fat. I know your work doesn't help someone to feel better, coming back when it is already night really does not help.

You know you already look beautiful, right? I support the idea that we are beautiful no matter what the scale shows. You can enjoy life before losing those 9 pounds by thinking of your progress so far which is amazing.

We have the same height and your current weight is my weight loss goal. For what your scale shows right now I had been depressed for a long time. See? These things are subjective. But by the way, you're already in a healthy BMI range. emoticon

I'm sorry we don't live close, we could go together to the mall or the movies and leave behind this social anxiety thing once and for all! emoticon
emoticon emoticon

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LEEWORD 9/5/2013 1:40PM

    The best way to reach your goal is to embrace life.
The more active you are, the faster you will burn those calories. Besides, obviously someone thinks you are very special or there wouldn't have been a wedding.
My wedding pictures are nothing to send to "bride beautiful" either. When we met I was in the 140's, believe it or not. Dinner dates, his good cooking, contentment, and 80 lb. later I am here, working on getting a healthy lifestyle. But I didn't stop living. you are a beautiful, worthwhile person regardless of the number on the scale.
Now start thinking about ways to be happy. Remember, no one else cares what your scale says. They are thinking too much about themselves, and how they feel when they are with you.

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