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Thursday, September 05, 2013

This last week and a half have been very difficult, yet funny at times and emotional. I have not been on here, because of family issues, mainly my Mom. It is a long story and I hope soon coming to an end and she will get into a good nursing home asap. And get settled.

Mom was diagnosed with dementia about a year and a half ago. Shortly after that she became very paranoid, with medications and time that settled down. So she has been doing well until about 2 weeks ago. Then the paranoia came back with a vengeance. Worse than before. Too many upsets to go on about. Now Mom is in hospital. Waiting placement.

I am going to give her notice to the people where she lived today. I have been trying to reach them. They have been so good to Mom and she has enjoyed living there so much!! However, she can no longer live there because her care needs are higher and her mental status has changed. I am also concerned because I have cousins who are now becoming vultures and one in particular who talks for all of them and tells me who is to get what!!

She also told me that ALL of my Mom's photo's were hers to go through and sort out. I know she will just take them all. She also wants a bowl of my Grandma's that was to go to either my brother or I. So am very frustrated.

Went to see Mom last night. She had a rough couple of days. She has always been very much a lady. Would not swear, raise her voice or cause any kind of disturbance. However, true to how many people with dementia act, opposite of their "normal" pre-dementia personalities, she is verbal aggressive and even struck the nurse with her cane. She feels her food is poisoned and that "they" are going to kill her.

So I am trying to keep calm, keep everyone informed, look out for my Mom and do the best I can. Tomorrow packing will begin. Important stuff will be moved. Things will get done.

I just have to remember to keep spark people on my mind and keep in touch. If it wasn't for a dear spark friend Anjay's-Journey I am not sure I could get through all of this. She and her family have been there for us and me since day 1. She is going with me tomorrow and her husband will help move the stuff!! I am blessed. A miracle happened this morning. My brother who is a man of few words commented on facebook this morning how well I am doing with all of this! I was in tears. So I am off to get a few things done now. I am going to try and keep up.

This is a great website!!! Great people and I do not know where or what I would be like with out it.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Please take good care of the caregiver. My blood pressure went up to 200+/100 while trying to deal with my mother's care needs, medical personnel who were making decisions based on their own financial best interest rather than her care needs, and unhelpful interference from well-intentioned but stupid relatives. So sorry you have to go through this.
    1652 days ago
  • SHERYLP461
    I wish you peace in this event in your life. A care givers role is a very difficult one without the 'outside' influence. I will keep you in my thoughts
    1656 days ago
    Oh, doll, I'm so sorry for all that you are going through. Thank goodness you have people who love you and care for you to help you through this. Cling to those people and stand up to the other jerks. If you don't want her to take those pictures, you get to them first. Be strong, chica!! emoticon
    1656 days ago
  • CANDOK1260
    so sorry you going through tyis emoticon
    1656 days ago
    So sorry for your mom!
    It's always hard to see our parents change.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1656 days ago
    Carol hugs and I am looking forward to tomorrow and what it will bring, we will pack together have lunch and visit your mum, hang in there and lean on God and us, and before you know it calm seas will be here again
    1656 days ago
    Carol call me if you want, I can listen and talk, you know I have worked in long term care for years.. also don't let that cousin take the pictures tell her you are takign them and will make copies. as for the bowl you also take it. You know that if they are that type they will take it sometimes not even wanting it but cos they think it should be theirs........ HUGS will pm my number cos you probably don't have it anymore. HUGS
    1656 days ago
    definitely do not be bullied, it seems so often in a family crisis, there is always some that want to take advantage of things, do not let it happen, stay strong, you will have a lot to face it the near future, and my prayers are with you, take care of yourself,
    and as for the pictures, seems to me, that they belong to you and your siblings, so, hang on to them, and dole out what you and only you want done. emoticon
    1656 days ago
    I would love to give you an "understanding hug"---- as my husband's mom is needing constant nursing care. She is demanding, and she has become abusive to the home's staff. They (the administration) deal with this kind of issue often, so trust me, it is not an unusual problem. Sounds like you have the support of your brother and this is great. Don't be bullied by the disrespectful relatives.... Bless you; you're not alone in this journey. More hugs!
    1656 days ago
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