Wednesday, September 04, 2013
I am ridiculously exhausted again today. I slept really well last night until J texted me at 4am (I think he doesnt realize they wake me up - he sleeps through ones that are sent to him). Then I had trouble falling back asleep.
Last night I took my first dance class in like 8 years! It was actually pretty fun! I admit that since the class wasnt until 7pm, it took a lot of motivation to get me to leave the house. Generally, once I am home for the day I am done. But I am glad I went. There are 4 other girls in the class - 3 of them took the class together last year so they knew each other, but they - along with the teacher - were very friendly and welcoming. We learned a short combination and it was really fun to be dancing again! I am looking forward to taking the class again next week. I am also taking a different class this Thursday night and I am looking forward to that, too. I will definitely have to get used to do something in the evenings now - I am used to coming home, putting my PJs on and either doing a craft project, reading a book, or watching tv!
I am excited because I ened 3 client relationships today, and am working on ending 2 more! This will take my client load from 16 down to 11 possibly by the end of the week. I am definitely looking forward to that, even if it doesnt last that long. I am not swamped at work right now, which is nice. Really the only pressing thing I have going on is getting ready for court in 2 weeks but seeing as my client isnt returning my phone calls the past few weeks, there isnt all that much I can really do right now.
I went to therapy yesterday and it was pretty insightful. I want to change but I dont want to actually make changes. Isnt that pretty common for most people? I am obviously a work-a-holic, and a bit controlling when it comes to work (and the rest of my life) and so one of the things I have to learn is how to give up control over some things, especially with work. Rather than delegate to other people, I prefer doing it all myself because I know it will get done "the right way." But thats stressful and not productive or helpful. And now that I have a paralegal, I need to be willing to allow her to do work that I would ordinarily do myself. So my "homework" is to give my paralegal something substantial to work on - not just phone calls. I agreed I would give her a research project that I would oridinarily do myself. Its stressful just thinking about it! My therapist also wants me to do yoga 3x per week to help me learn to let go of controlling everything and relax a bit more. I dont particularly want to do yoga, and even when I say I am going to do it, I dont make it a priority. But apparently, now I have to make it a priority, for the next 3 weeks until I go back for my next session. Truthfully, I am willing to try anything if it will help me gain more balance in my work and personal life!