Tuesday, September 03, 2013
After my first chemo got unexpectedly delayed last week, Jim and I initially thought we would try to take a quick vacation somewhere. Once I realized it was Labor Day weekend and that it would probably be hard to book something last minute, Jim and I decided to stay home. It actually worked out for the best as far as I'm concerned. We have a beautiful view out out back windows that people pay to go on vacation to come to see, so I felt like it made more sense to enjoy our own little piece of heaven than spend money to go someplace else. We have spent A LOT of time driving places these last couple months between our move to Tennessee, two bicycling vacations in June and July, and all the trips we have made to Vanderbilt since I got diagnosed. I have no desire right now to spend time traveling.
So, we had a nice quiet weekend at home. I had my mother over for lunch on Sunday and I met up with some women I'm becoming friends with here after my mom had left. Monday, I just lazed around and had a nice long conversation with my son on the phone.
Even though I'm starting chemo on Thursday, I decided to get one last haircut today. From what I've read about the particular chemo I'm getting, I can expect my hair to start falling out in about two weeks. Most people go completely bald with this chemo (and the one I'll be getting after that). Even so, I thought I would feel better if I had a good haircut for the next couple weeks. I think I'm going to look funny without hair. I'm kind of leaning toward soft knitted caps rather than wigs over the winter. I'm thinking they will be more comfortable. We'll see...
If anyone that has been though chemo and went bald has any tips or advice, I'd be interested in what worked out best for you. I've looked at wigs on line, but so far, I haven't located a place nearby to try them on. I think I'll ask at the infusion center at Vanderbilt when I go on Thursday.
I'll probably find out tomorrow if I'm getting the experimental drug as part of a clinical trial I'm in. While I would rather get the drug than not, I have mixed feelings about it. Since it's something I have no control over, my plan is to just be okay with it no matter which group I'm in.
I've joined a "Triple Negative Breast Cancer" forum on-line. It has been a big help in reading about other women's journeys with triple negative breast cancer. It's a scary diagnosis so it's nice to know I'm not the only one that flipped out I got diagnosed.
I still flip out about it at times. It seems like that happens most when I'm tired. I've learned the best thing to do when it happens is let Jim know or phone a close friend. The worst thing I can do is just keep my fears to myself. When I let someone else know how I'm feeling, they can help me put things in perspective and I always feel better. I'm fortunate to have a couple sister-in-laws that have been a huge help in that regard.
When I'm going through a "sinking spell", I also try to remind myself that it's just "feelings" and feelings aren't permanent....they always pass. Another thing I do to try to comfort myself is to do some small task around the house or in the garden to take my mind off of things. Walking outdoors is also a good thing that has helped many times over the last month. It helps me work things out in my head somehow and I always come home feeling better than when I left.
I feel grateful that I have such good support around me. It is a huge help. My wonderful SparkPeople community is a wonderful source of support and I thank each and every one of you for your words of encouragement. I can't tell you how much that means to me.
Life is good!