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    BDH1970   26,102
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How to Get Back on Track.... Please help!

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Hi! I haven't been here in a few months. I've had the summer from Hades!

June 19, our City endured the first of 4 major hail storms during which our roof was damaged, our trailer and all of our cars were damaged. We're insured and everything's dealt with now; however it was stressful for everyone in town, and it's all anyone ever talked about for at least a month.

On July 3, my dad died. He'd had heart disease for 15 years, a triple by-pass, and 7 heart attacks. We used to tease him that he was like a cat with 9 lives. He came close. The amazing thing was that he lived thru 6 and for 4 days after the 7th. We all got time to see him and say goodbye, which in itself, was a blessing. The generosity and kindness of so many people was amazing - the food too, unfortunately, was amazing. Comfort food - wonderful casseroles, and entire meals, and desserts, and the works. So hard not to eat it, even tho I knew I shouldn't, but I just didn't care. I was sad, and it was so convenient to not have to cook while we were making arrangments. Sleep has always been an issue for me, but since Dad died, I can't sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. It's getting better now, but it's still a huge issue.

At the end of July, we bought our "mid-life" crisis car (the only one without hail damage). We had it for a day before our 18yr old son totalled it doing donuts in a gravel parking lot. He and his friends were all okay, and no, his dad didn't kill him!! But he's paying to have it fixed. While absolutely a minor thing in the whole scheme of life, it was very stressful for a week or two, especially so close to my dad passing.

Last week, at my usual 3:30am wake-up time, my puppy was barking so I looked out our front-room window. I saw the reflection of a fire on the side of my truck so ran outside. Our detached garage, and fence were on fire, and the flames were 30' in the air! I phoned 911 and the fire department was there right away; however, our fence and the lilac bushes it is toast (literally). Luckily, the only damage to the garage, because it's stucco, was smoke. the FD phoned the police because they determined to be suspicious. We're assuming someone just threw a cigarette butt into the bushes, and it ignited the fire. The fence is all fixed now and the garage is rinsed off. All better. Just stressful on top of everything else.

So, now that things are starting to get back to normal, I really need to get back on track - even if it's just back to tracking my food to begin with. I know I've gained weight back, but I don't know how much, and I really don't want to get on that scale. I know I need to and I need to be honest with myself about it. I also need to get back to my regular workout schedule - I used to go 5x a week, and lately it's only been once or twice, if that.

Does anyone have any pointers for me getting back on the wagon after falling off so hard? I feel as tho I've been using all of these issues as an excuse to pig out, drink entirely too much, not exercise, and just not care about much in general. I know that grief is a process I need to go through, but I'm not doing myself any favours by feeling guilty for gainig weight back.
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BERTAS_JOURNEY 9/3/2013 12:50PM

    Wow that has been a lot to deal with. Sorry to hear about everything that you have had to go through, especially losing your Dad. It's no wonder you fell off the wagon, who here could blame you?? But as I tell my hubby when life has him at his wits end and he drinks too much... did it help you to drink so much?? Not a bit.

In your case, I'm sure the eating gave you a form of comfort at the time and after the summer you have had, I'd say you deserved a little consolation BUT now is the time for you.

I'd start with small things, like chewing slower and tracking your food. Start there and work your way to something new in a couple of weeks like walking a couple of times a week.

emoticon to you!! Thoughts and prayers are coming your way.

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