Step 10, say no to pushers.
Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Eventually people will start to notice that you're changing. Most people won't like it for their own reasons. They may be jealous or envious. They may think that you can't do it and are out to prove it. They may simply not understand why you'd want to change.
Most people just don't like change.
They may start to undermine your efforts. They may start bringing your favorite snacks around more. They may try to take up more of your time they never needed before. They start asking questions like "why". They might start making snide comments about your weight loss or telling you that you're getting too skinny.
You just have to go back to your internal dialogue and remind yourself why you're doing this. You want to be healthy and able to move around society more easily. You may have your own more specific reasons for it too, but I'll bet that the majority of us just want to fit in better and feel better and be able to move around more easily.
No one else's opinion about you is more important than your own opinion. You are in charge of you and no one else should be able to influence that.
Other people may try to derail you, but you are strong enough to keep going as long as you believe you can. You know that it is possible and you are out to prove that you can do it. They may try their hardest to keep you the way you are, but you know that you need to change to become healthy and able to live out your life in comfort.
Some people you just see occasionally. There's the party goer that wants you to "just try this". "No thank you" usually works. If they keep pushing, "I don't eat that" usually stops them.
There's the co-worker that brings in something and seems to want your approval by eating it. If that's what's going to give them self-esteem, then their self-esteem is not that high. Self worth is more than a cookie, it's a way of behaving and if they truly cared about you and not their cookie, they wouldn't push the treats on everyone. You don't need to eat their cookie, thank them and move along. If they really seem like they need a boost, give them a shout out for being kind about helping you out on some work that was done. A cookie shouldn't break a friendship.
There's the relative that constantly brings home the goodies. If they refuse to stop bringing it home, ask them to stick it where you don't have to think about it. The countertop is off limits to goodies. If they don't live with you, you don't need to see them as often in food-related situations. If they live with you, have the hard discussion about how you are trying to change and they aren't helping. You don't need negativity around you. This is why so many relationships break up when one person is trying to change something (whether it be weight loss, job issues, or many other things that people disagree on). You need to be surrounded by people who are willing to support you every step of the way. If they really love you, they will be willing to accommodate your choices.
There are the friends who always have to go out to eat with you. Plan on restaurants where you can get a decent meal and not break your calorie budget. Plan different things to do instead of eating. Start walking with them instead of sitting and eating. Go rollerskating or playing in an ice rink. Play pickleball (yes, that is a thing and they play it in my park twice a week). Go window shopping. There are plenty of things that are fun and don't consist of sitting or eating. You may end up having to find new friends because your old ones won't change what they're doing while you are finding your interests becoming different.
Get rid of the negative people. You need to surround yourself with people who are helpful to your new you. You may think that you won't change any of your personality, but I think that some aspects of you will change and people will notice. You'll need to surround yourself with like minded people that fit your new personality while weeding out the ones who aren't doing any good for you. It may be hard to break up with old friends, but it may be needed and sometimes it happens naturally over time.
Surround yourself with positive people and you will be more likely to succeed in your journey. Keep too many of the negative people around you and you are more likely to fail because they keep telling you that you can't do it and after hearing it often, you will start to believe it too.
Today's Holidays: Skyscraper Day and National Welsh Rarebit Day.