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    WINDSONG26   102,199
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Yesterday...

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Well yesterday was a ton of fun. Not. Ha. But I'm definitely taking a lesson well learned from all of it. You see, I ended up having to go to the hospital last night. I started having really bad chest pains and pains in my neck and jaw and all kinds of stuff. So I reluctantly go in to the hospital. They hook me up to all their fun machines and do chest xrays, a CT scan, and all that jazz. It wasn't a heart attack, thank goodness for that. They're not exactly sure what it was, but I will get to that later. They gave me 3 nitro pills, had me chew on baby aspirin, gave me gastro cocktails because they thought it might be an extreme case of indigestion or gall stones or something. Nothing they did got rid of the pain completely. In fact, it still bugs me a little bit today, but nothing that I can't handle. So they ruled out heart attack, but due to my history of blood clots, they talked me into having a CT scan to make sure I didn't have a clot in my lung. That came back clear. So they said since they ruled out all emergency problems, to go ahead and go home and follow up with my doc, which I don't see my new one until the 16th, but come back in if it gets even worse than it was, blah blah blah. So after about 4 or 5 hours of having them monitor my heart and have that blood pressure cuff of torture running every 5 minutes, I finally got to leave. They did tell me to keep in mind to maybe have an ultrasound done on my liver or gall bladder at some point to make sure they're okay since my levels were a bit elevated, but nothing to the point where it's so worrisome it has to be done immediately. But yeah, that was my night. Didn't get to sleep until after 1130 after being awake since 130 the previous night. The alarm went off to get up this morning and I just could not do it. I was just so tired and out of it and still just not feeling that great I just said screw it, I'm calling in sick and I'll figure out how to make up those hours later. I'll probably end up having to go in again on Saturday. I despise that, but I hate working 10 hours straight with no breaks, too. 8 is hard enough. But while we were waiting for all the tests to come back, my fiance and I were talking and trying to figure out what was up with me since the doctors sure didn't know. The best thing that we could figure was that it was leftovers from Saturday's incident with my boss. You see, he pissed me off REALLY bad and I held absolutely all of it in. I wouldn't even let myself cry because I didn't want to give the jerk the pleasure of knowing he got to me. All that had to go somewhere. So what happened? I had the worst tension migraine I've had in years. So bad to the point that I was starting to hallucinate seeing things on the walls and all that and then what had happened yesterday. I held all of those emotions in and my body did the only thing it could to "deal" with all of that since I refused to let it out.

So, I learned a few things from this. One, he and that stupid job are SOOOOO not worth my health. I've resumed my search for another job in my living area that has better pay and I don't have to drive 60 miles a day and spend $300 a month that I don't have on gas in the car. I've set a goal to find something and be out of there by the end of the month. It's an extremely high goal, I am well aware. I live in an extremely small area and there's not a whole lot of jobs to be had around here, and I do have a record, so there are some places that refuse to hire me just because of that. But, I'm trying to remain positive that something will come up somewhere soon. As a matter of fact, just yesterday I sent in my resume to an HR position at the workforce center they have at the college. It's almost two dollars an hour more and it's 4-5 blocks away from my house. If I could manage to land that job, not only would I be making more than I am now, I could save a fortune in gas money by walking to work. I'm really hoping for that one. Lesson two, DON'T HOLD IT IN! Next time he pisses me off, tell him off and make it perfectly clear that just because I'm under his employ does NOT make it okay for him to be a bully. If he fires me, he can pay for the unemployment. I doubt he would, though. My future mother in law argues with him quite often, has cursed at him, and has even smacked him for being a rude smart mouth. Yes. I know. Not a great guy at all. But she's done all that and she's been there 6 years in November. If he hasn't fired her, why would he fire me? And lesson number 3. Don't keep taking what health I do have for granted and start taking better care of myself. Something I am trying to work on, for sure.

So anyway, just thought I'd share all of that. I hope everyone had a fun labor day weekend. Until next time...
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYKLAVER 9/4/2013 7:58AM

    The next time you get mad at work, LET IT OUT! The best thing that could happen is that they let you go - you will be able to get unemployment and relax a little as you look for another job. Your life is more important than the little money you are ahead.

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KOFFEENUT 9/3/2013 4:18PM

    Good for you for taking steps to find a work environment that is not abusive - and in the meantime, TALK through those emotions rather than holding in all that stress. It WILL kill you!

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CATTUTT 9/3/2013 1:35PM

    Oh wow, that's really scary! It's good that you took it seriously and went to the ER! Glad to hear nothing emergency was going on, and I hope you find out nothing serious is wrong when you see your dr.

It might very well be your work stress that caused it. I liked my job and it caused me so much anxiety I had to go on disability. So if you have a job you hate, and a boss you hate, I can only imagine how much worse that is!

Anyway, fingers crossed for you that you find an awesome new job!

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PRNCSRIAH 9/3/2013 11:58AM

    Wow that sounds like a really stressful weekend! I used to have a hard time with holding it in too. I now find no shame in going home and crying my heart out on occasion. I find the release is so nice! Also, I like to do some really hardcore exercise when I am pissy about something. It really helps to let it go. I hope you get your new job!

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