I am counting my blessings today
When dad passed away in July I got off track - I have no idea what day I am on - I just know I am struggling to get back on track with consistent exercise (30 - 60 mins a day), better sleep, sticking to my kidney friendly diet and pushing my water.
So I am trying to regain my focus - I am DOING this for me! I want to look strong and healthy, I want to feel strong and healthy, I want to be able to move better. I want to reach my goal of losing 50 pounds for me! When I graduate next May - I want to be fit and look it! I want people to look at me and KNOW that I work out.
So today I start my counting days again. Today is day 1!
Dad would not want me to let my grief over take me, he would want me to carry on and live life. I still have my gut-retching moments - I still pick up the phone to call him, I still think, "oh, I have to call dad and tell him..." and then I remember, he is gone! He was my supporter in everything I did. I did not get much support from my mom, it is just the way it is for me. She is still my mom and I love and respect her for that. But dad. I was the apple of his eye, I was his girl, he believed in me.
Even though I had three brothers - it was dad and I who built decks, worked on roofs, painted,ect. I remember going to work with him as a kid. Yes, I miss him! I miss his very essence in my life. His 10 phone calls in a day, him calling at 3 am and asking "are you awake?" A few times I was not happy with him, as it was not an emergency (we had a few of those, so when the phone would ring....) - he just could not sleep!
My commitment is to get back on track with everyday exercise, drinking my water, and to get back on track with my healthy eating for my kidney health.
Thank you for your continued support and encouragement.