Tuesday, September 03, 2013
I have a confession to make. I have NOT been eating healthy recently. I have been indulging in crappy processed junk food and allowing myself candy, ice cream, french fries, and other foods that I know are just not good for me. Why am I sabotaging myself? I went through a break up recently, a big move, and then last week decided to call it off with a new guy I have been dating. So there have been many ups and downs with my emotions. And I do believe that my coping has been taking the form of emotional eating. I did this when I was young, a child and a teenager. I have not been over-eating however... in fact I go half of the day without eating anything and then I will get something like french fries or ice cream and excuse it by saying I havent had enough calories and need something high calorie. It has become a terrible habit! It has only become this way over the past few weeks really. I have had an easier time in the past eating healthy, I really feel it is all the stress in my life that is controlling my emotions and urges. :( And I am confessing now because I feel that this will hold me more accountable. I feel like I need to be open about my successes and my setbacks. Right now I am at a point where I need to get back on my path, and stay directed. Maybe I have to remind myself of what I am working toward. And get realigned with my goals. I want to maintain my weight at about 125 pounds. I doubt that will happen if I keep eating 2 pints of ice cream a week. (+ other junk!) I am embarrassed to admit it but I need to be open and I need the encouragement from the community - that is partly what Sparkpeople is here for, right? And I need to always be real about what I am going through on this journey so that I can face it and overcome it. And I recognize how this is holding me back and has in different ways throughout my life. I can't let food become a crutch for me to lean on. I need to find much healthier ways of coping with my emotions!! Taking a walk, singing, dancing, doing Yoga, writing, reading, and more. Food is my sustenance, my nourishment, it is delicious and I love it, but it can't become something that I rely on to satisfy my emotional needs. And I am fearful that is what is beginning to happen. But it isn't! Because I am in control of the situation! Because I recognize what I am going through and I know that I want health enough to not let an addiction take me over. I have quit smoking for crying out loud! That is one of the hardest addictions to kick and I know that because I am capable of that I am capable of more than I can even imagine! I have strength and perseverance. I will overcome this and it will no longer be an issue for me. And I will be able to enjoy food in a healthy way and have other activities to engage in when I need an outlet. Thank you for letting me share, Sparkpeople. I am so thankful for this community and support network that I can find here. Namaste!