Monday, September 02, 2013
I did something this week that I never thought I would...I admitted DEFEAT.
I am not disciplined enough to loose this weigh. Maybe I will just be the roly poly fat mom who smiles and rolls(literally) with the punches. Maybe I am the best I can be right now, maybe I'm better off focusing on the kids and helping make their dreams come true.
How did I let this happen to myself again. I sit here crying at my computer wondering what I have done and where to go now.
So here I am blogging, hoping that it will help me shed this feeling of despair, that make I will find a minuscule amount of pride in myself to try again.
How many time is too many times to try to loose weight? When do you throw in the towel an admit defeat? Is it OK to just be fat? Is it OK to make the choice to be unhealthy, to choose to die young, to be lazy, unhappy and depressed every time time I look in the mirror... to spend the rest of my life hiding from everyone, wearing men's clothing, sitting on the side lines watching life go by....
Advice, antidotes etc. would be appreciated