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Getting a Grip on Weight loss and Losing Friends

Monday, September 02, 2013

After reading the Spark (I know I am a bit slow but I like to do first first) I really am feeling very encouraged. I adore my vision collage and spend the 5 minutes doing self talk for encouragement daily while reading the stuff on my collage. I love the 10 minute workouts too. That is about all I can do in the way of contortion. I am a walker and taking the dogs out for a good long walk is my main exercise. But the best thing I felt I should do is the month long menu. That was such hard work. First I had to decide what both DH and I both like, what was nutritious as well as being delicious and very importantly what is very affordable. So I finally came up with about 10 main meals, 6 soups, with sides of green salad, carrots, red cabbage, celery/ tomato sc, lima beans and maybe occasional zucchini rounds. Our desserts are little dishes of jello with yogurt, berries with yogurt, and sometimes pudding. So then I had a grid with 31 spaces and I had to fill those spaces in. DH hates to have the same thing twice in a row whereas I am quite happy to. So nothing twice in a row. I cooked spaghetti sc., stroganoff, beef stew, meatballs in mushroom sc., alfredo sauce, macaroni, cheese, tuna and dill pickles, pad thai, sweet and sours, barbequed pork pcs, pork cooked in butter sauce, and left room for chicken pcs. baked from scratch with baked fries (wedges of potatos). Then I put dishes with these main courses in freezer dishes and wrote on them with felt marker on masking tape. I know there is very little fish in there but I am waiting to get some trout and then there will be substitution going on. The soups are chicken soup with barley, hamburger soup, Asian soup, and a great peanut soup(using chickpeas and a little peanut butter for that flavor). I am thinking I am more of a plodder who likes to take the guess work out of life rather than being an innovative sort of woman. So now to put it all into action. We are trying to not take any trips if at all possible so as to be careful with $$$$$. We have to buy all our winter fuel at once and it is a big chunk of money.

I was not sure if I wanted to blog about this next topic but I will and put it out there for people to think about. I have lost my two best friends in this community. Our relationship always was a little tenuous because they both belong to the local church and we do NOT. We spent time together walking dogs, quilting, discussing innocuous things and picking berries. We helped one another, had dinners for birthdays, played games and generally showed interest in each others families. That sounds very familiar doesn't it? It is how friendships develop and flourish. At dinners we would say grace and add a Bahai prayer. It is not a Bahai custom to say grace but it is such a lovely thing to do that DH and I always loved it. The other day as we were walking dogs the other two ladies said to each other that a couple from their church was moving and they should have a dinner. The couple moving were friends of ours as well, not close friends but we knew them well. I piped up and said "Is this a dinner DH and I are invited to?" and the response was "No, you are not part of our church." Alrighty then, and I butted out of the conversation which was all about what to serve and when and where to have the dinner. Since then I have not felt like hanging out with them any more. I am okay with that but if the shoe had been on the other foot I would never have left them out if they were friends with the people. Bahais are very inclusive and unity is our motto. Some of the denominations of Christian churches are far too exclusive as far as I am concerned and they should have a good look at their way of dealing with others. Amen!!!!! There now I have said it and will not take it back. Life goes on and I am so glad that I have a very good and loving marriage but if I didn't I could not live in this community. The church is very central to the functioning of this community and I would have loved to go and be part of the singing and the quilting in the winter but do not feel welcomed.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I agree with you for your feelings and what has happened between you and your friend. Sorry for all that to be happened. Not really sure that is a way of the church or the friends. If that is the church ways of handling, I do not think that religion or the church will last. No propagation sprits nor welcoming new friends to the church. I don't believe in exclusiveness type of religion.

    Love your meal plan. Glad you've got DH who loves you and does share your wonderful meal with you. My lucky things is my DH doesn't mind eating same thing twice. Sometime we make big pot of soup and we eat until we finish all the pot and we don't freeze meal so might takes 3 days in a low but he doesn't complain. (^^)
    1633 days ago
    Sounds more like a social club than a church to me.
    1633 days ago
    Everyone has their own beliefs and isn't grand to be able to share ! You are entitled to your own values and beliefs. No one can takes that away from you and vice -versa!

    I have difficulty with is narrowness of mind.
    I am a non believer..... except in the greatness of human spirit and goodness , and that alone has been doing wonderful things and achievements in our world.
    Read Voltaire's "Candid" if you haven't already done so.
    Church is important when it is your backbone . ! Anything that one believes in, is great when it gives you what you are looking for as long it is meant for the good of humanity.

    I must admit , that I don't know what is a "Bahai" Prayer . Please , enlightened me.
    1633 days ago
    I'm so sorry this has happened...but I know not every Christian believer is like that. My Church family is very welcoming, and would have included you in a situation like that. Hey, you would be welcome anytime!!!

    My family goes to a Bible study each week with people of different faiths, with all different views on certain Biblical teachings. We love each other in spite of that!

    I'll pray you find some new dog walking/quilting/berry picking friends in the area. We all need friends of any faith. Jesus never turned anyone away...and even visited in the homes of 'sinners'!!! My,my! And remember, it was the 'Church leaders' who shunned Him.

    Wishing you peace. Love you. Ramona emoticon
    1633 days ago
    That's tough and something I don't understand. We are all human and in this life together and through thousands of years, people have killed and hurt each other over religions. I love the gospel as taught by my church but I also have friends of various religions (or not) and they are people first to me and my friends. I am sorry about your hurt feelings and God bless you. emoticon

    I found the way you planned your meals interesting. I would love to do something like that for myself since I get money only once a month plus I am not the greatest of cooks. emoticon I am not sure how to go about it but at least you've planted the ideas in my mind. emoticon
    Love, Chelsea emoticon
    1633 days ago
    Unfortunately, sometimes religious beliefs get in the way of making new friends and keeping current ones. It should really be about the person inside. Maybe your friends did not know how the other members of the congregation would view your participation but for whatever reason, I'm sorry you had that experience. With your support, enthusiasm and friendly personality , they are certainly missing out.

    As far as your focus on the Spark program that deserves a big emoticon I admire the time you have taken to plan it all out. It sounds like you are motivated and ready to go. Wishing you a lot of success following this program.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1633 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/2/2013 5:02:15 PM
  • KANOE10
    That is too bad that you do no feel welcome..and lost the two friends. I am glad you have a loving husband. I hope you meet some new people who will be better friends.

    Your eating program sounds great. I try to avoid too many trips to the store also to save money.

    1633 days ago
    That is really too bad! I know what you mean about the exclusionary nature of many churches though, since I live in an area with a large Mormon population. I tend not to be religious and prefer to spend the time other people are in church outside hiking, etc. I always loved the singing and prayers at church, just couldn't agree with the closed mindedness of so many there. I always thought it was sad that so many Christians couldn't be troubled to read the bible they profess to believe in.

    Anywho I hope you find peace within your community and friends who can be supportive regardless of differing beliefs! emoticon
    1633 days ago
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