Sunday, September 01, 2013
I have never pretended to be an expert in anything, especially not weight loss. I didnt set out to loose weight in the beginning as was a long way off from that. At almost 200 pounds over weight it was not going to be a quick and decisive thing. I wasnt going to be able to drink water or walk a mile a day or cut out chocolate and miraculously loose 200 pounds. When I hit rock bottom I had to do something that was more scary than a diet. And to be honest there was nothing easy about it.
Over the past week I have been seriously depressed, exhausted and ill. Now those things individually will cripple you but all three is just next door to residing with your mother in law ( sorry I know bad tink). And it takes a certain amount of fight for me to deal with them. I have tried to stay as active on Spark as i could. Any way reading blogs and post helps you pass the time when you just dont want to move.
I lost a pound this week and A friend of mine said to me I dont know how you do it I would have to restart again. I said restart what? she said my diet ... ahhh there is the difference.
I dont diet. I dont restart actually I refuse to restart. I will tell you the same thing I told her. I never did this as a diet. I dont live on a diet. I refuse to diet again. Diets are temporary and they dont last. I changed my life. I changed my mind set. I changed my behaviors. Change is permenant and that is how I live. In my literal mind if every time I had a bad day I had to restart I wouldnt get any where. To restart implies there is a beginning and a finish. And in my reality I will always have to worry with calories i will always have to weigh I will always have to be mindful of what i am doing and for what reasons. There is no finish line this is life. Now granted when I get the weight off I might not have to do all the extras that i have to do now. I might can do weights 3 days a week and cardio 5 days a week who knows I might actually have a real hamburger and french fries again without having to plan it into the calories. But it will always be a concern. I didnt make little changes here and there I changed period.
The process of loosing 200 pounds is long and it is exhausting and it is ever changing but it has its rewards. The only way you can reap the rewards of what you are doing right now is to change who you were then. Live the process and decide to stop restarting decide to just keep going. If you are constantly restarting then what have you really changed? Life is hard, at times it is ugly sometimes it is great to be successful you have to be able to live the change every day without regret.