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When weight comes with weight

Saturday, August 31, 2013

It seems I met my first goal this morning (I say "seems" because my scale decided to go crazy this morning, but would mostly work for hubby. When he was in the room, I could get the same weight to show up three times in a row -- and he was sure his was right -- so I'm counting it). And instead of rejoicing, I'm feeling . . . weighed down.

This is the weight I was at throughout my short 11-week pregnancy. It was the weight at which I hoped for my little girl. This is the weight of much joy and much despair. And I'm feeling that today.

While I will continue to work to get more pounds off, I'm struck with how weightloss from here would have seemed a failure a few months ago. With how loss was a sign that my morning sickness was causing me to eat too little. I fought hard then to maintain at 186. And now, there is no need.

I have a few weeks before I'm in my fertile window and we'll be really trying again. Still more pounds to lose . . .

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
TRAVELGRRL 8/31/2013 2:06PM

    I understand your sadness and pain. But with God's grace and help, there will be another child for you and you will be healthy and ready to carry it to term. Take care. ((hugs))

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BILL60 8/31/2013 1:40PM

    Hang in there and stay tough!!

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JENNINTHEATTIC 8/31/2013 12:47PM

    Thanks, Mir. That is the plan! Goal is to add more exercise in this week at stronger intensities (so my minutes may still be smaller . . . sorry 5% challenge -- I'll try to get some of both ends!) to keep building up that fitness base.

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MIRMIUM 8/31/2013 12:39PM

    I'm sorry this weight holds such bad memories for you :(

BUT, just think of entering that fertile window healthier than ever! You are providing an awesome healthy environment for your NEW baby! That has got to feel good!

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JENNINTHEATTIC 8/31/2013 10:28AM

    Thank you. Coffee and talking sound good! Way to go on the half marathon training! The scale was not kind during mine, either. But I've perhaps never felt better about myself than when I crossed that finish line!

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1BUTTERFLYSPARK 8/31/2013 10:23AM


I am sorry your feeling discouraged right now and I wish that I could take you out for coffee and we could just sit and talk together.

I understand a little of what your feeling. I have been working hard with my half marathon and the scale is not showing any of the work. So I decided not to let it define me. It's just a dumb number. What really matters is how your feeling physically.

I also had a miscarriage and nothing hurts the heart more than loosing a baby. My thoughts and prayers are with you right now.

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