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    TIME2BLOOM4ME   142,213
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Friday, August 30, 2013

As hard as I try, reality is I won't ever look 20 again or like a Barbie or anywhere close. That's REALISTIC. Being 50 years old with prematurely greying hair that I CHOOSE not to color at the due to the chemicals that could contribute to health issues and expense it would cost. Why should I pay for someone to pour chemicals on my brain? I LOVE My new silver, wiser, look. Silver is IN.

Why go to all the trouble of eating nutritious foods and exercising if your just going to pour toxins on your head? Silver is Pretty. Silver shows you have experience. Silver shows your unique individuality. Silver is a privilege denied to many.

Silver is beautiful.

I CHOOSE the BEAUTIFUL, natural, glowing from a distance, silver look that wise ladies wear. I ACCEPT the fact I am not a surgically enhanced, firm 20 year old model that's been Photoshopped. Nothing is going to make me look that way. My body is Beautiful the way it is, ACCEPTING it the way it is, is a good thing. It's the way the creator intended for me to look at this moment in life. I will not give in to the whims and pressures of society as I accept how I look.

I have the odds stacked against me with an autoimmune disease that limits my mobility, strength, energy, and ability to workout is so frustrating. It does not keep me from achieving my goals. I am a work in progress.

I work on my own REALISTIC, HONEST, ACHIEVABLE goals. My workouts are for ME. My diet is for ME. My goals is to improve mobility, improve my health, release unneeded weight, improve my muscle strength and energy, and relieve stress, increase flexibility. Which is totally obtainable. Negative, depressed, absolutely not ! I am just being REALISTIC, honest with myself about who I am, where I am at, and my own personal choices. (No longer am I an athletic, graceful freestyle skater doing high jumps and spins.) I AM who I AM. My goals are all about PLEASING ME and no one else.

I have a husband who has taken up bike riding since retiring. He knew I needed his arm to help me balance when we went on walks, but abandoned me for his bike. Once he got that bike it became his new BABY of sorts.

I couldn't get out like before, it wasn't safe for me to walk alone due to balance and mobility issues. The last few years he has a new and improved trim figure, very toned, hard, except for the beer belly. I am glad for him and his excitement and passion for riding. This morning he rode about three hours or 30 miles and he is off again hoping to get in 500 miles before the month is over.

Today he said my butt was bigger and I needed new shorts, preferably skorts to hide things a bit more. OUCH !!! Thanks Honey, I know. I didn't need anyone to tell me that not being able to get to take my walks has affected my size. Thank you kindly for your words. I appreciate you pointing out the painful truth. Your words really make me feel great. Oh by the way did you notice I lost a few pounds lately. Did you notice how hard I try to feed my body nutritious foods? NO.

Having invested on a device to help me walk ALONE - BY MYSELF. I have to admit I am EXTREMELY excited to get it working on September 6th.

My investment in ME leaves no money to spend on my new, wider, greatly expanded, and improved butt. So deal with it honey, ENJOY THE VIEW. I am a foxy, silver haired, BOOTYLICIOUS, curvaceous kind of WOMAN.

No, I AM NOT going shopping for clothes. I am on a JUICE FAST starting tomorrow. Today I prepared made all the necessary preparations !!! No matter what he says, I am doing it. I won't SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES or pay for something that won't fit me anymore in a month because I lost weight. Nope, Nope, Nope. Weight loss happens fairly rapidly juicing, health improves, positive changes happens.

My calories is not out of range or unreasonable. It's more about mobility issues. When I was getting in 15,000 steps things started changing rapidly. Lately I have been lucky to get in 5,000. Sigh. I try my darnedest. With the disease when my body fatigues It shuts down and I can't move, hardly speak, speech becomes slurred, my muscles go limp, my face droops, like I have had a stroke. My muscles get so weak I can't hardly move. It's like the battery has been pulled out. It's never charged all the way, most of the time even after sleeping it runs at 25%. So any workout I do takes all my strength and determination to get through it. It's a major achievement in which I am proud to have done. After working out usually I have to go take a nap due to the extreme amount of energy exerted.

Today I set an all-time record for using my indoor bike !!! I rode for 45 minutes. 30 minutes was going forward and 15 minutes was backwards. It uses different muscles I learned. My hamstrings worked harder going in reverse while going forward used my quads more. I was sooo excited I told my husband I did 45 minutes on the bike. He said, 'IS THAT GOOD?" *)&*)(^*&^%% !!! Darn it, just because you are normal, healthy, able-body and can ride for 3 hours, how dare you say is that good. You knew a few weeks ago I was worn out after 15 minutes. I felt belittled. I kept silent. (I wish he could walk in my shoes for a month.)

Just watch me come September 6th. I can't wait to have the ability to go on walks all by myself. I can't wait to get my steps in, burn miles, wear out the rubber on my shoes. I can't wait !

I am proud of my achievements.
I ate well today.
Made many quarts of juice today.
Drank fresh fruit and vegetable juice.
Cleaned the Kitchen.
Planned out next months goals.
I did well on working towards my goals.
I Accept ME.
I am a silver haired, foxy, curvaceous woman.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLPURNELL 9/5/2013 5:14PM


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2BDYNAMIC 9/2/2013 9:57AM

    I agree!! ...... I myself am perfectly A-OK with getting a weave (bleach) in my hair but I think the grey or silver hair is lovely. I had just been thinking .......... I am not here in sparks to compete w/ anyone else or score big points ....... but to keep me in shape at my age ....... which is several past menopause. I will never be on the runway ........... but I am content and happy being me ............ and am in good shape w/ just a few # to lose. emoticon ....... Best to you!
P.S. Love the green drinks! I make them daily for me and hubby. They also really help curb appetite for any junk stuff!!

Comment edited on: 9/2/2013 9:59:29 AM

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DOLLYHOLLY 9/1/2013 7:49PM

    Awe-inspiring blog! emoticon

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ERIECANALGAL 9/1/2013 4:43PM

    What a wonderful blog and so motivating. I loved all of it.You are such a strong woman. Keep up the good work.

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CHRISTASP 9/1/2013 1:45AM

    You're doing your best to take care of yourself.

Comment edited on: 9/1/2013 1:46:48 AM

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SIRENALEANNE 9/1/2013 12:26AM

    Amen Sista! I can't wait to be a silver haired fox! emoticon

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IUHRYTR 8/31/2013 8:47PM

    emoticon on your success on the emoticon -- Lou

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4RASCALS 8/31/2013 5:36PM

    I'm so excited for you. Hope the Bioness will have you walking around, doing everything you want to do. It's sad that your husband does not support your efforts to get healthier. You are a beautiful person, who deserves to be happy.
Pls let us know how you like the Bioness.

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BARBIEE52 8/31/2013 5:08PM

    I have read the last 3 or 4, and I cannot decide which one I like the best. I guess you could say I love them all. They are all so inspiring, encouraging, and very motivating. Thank you so very much for sharing all of them!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Barb emoticon

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KIPPER15 8/31/2013 4:01PM

    Well done. You are making progress. I am excited to hear how the new Bioness helps you. Can't wait to see that blog!

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GLAMNGLOWDIVA 8/31/2013 3:27PM

    You have such a great positive attitude about everything.

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OLIVIANIGHT 8/31/2013 3:19PM

    Wow, I bet you can't wait to go walking again. I'm excited for you! You'll have to let us know how it goes : D

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 8/31/2013 3:00PM

    You described MS perfectly when you said, "It's like the battery has been pulled out." I too have to force myself to move cause my battery is empty most of the time.

As for your husband; he is a passive-aggressive abuser. And if you are 'married' that means his income should be yours, and yours his - in other words, shared income. You shouldn't be living at poverty level while he is living 'the good life'. Insist on more of what is yours. You deserve it!

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 8/31/2013 12:57PM

    Do you want me to come over a give your husband a good spanking?

I have silver hair too that I chose not to color due to the chemicals....and I've also always thought silver hair was beautiful. I think we are both making a very smart decision about that. Health trumps vanity by a long shot in my book.

Have you done a juice fast before? I've lost a couple pounds a week doing a lot of juicing and only eating "real" foods. I think juicing alone would really make it drop while giving yourself LOTS of nutrients. I wish you the best on your fast.


W...our type of tandem is perfect for riding when one person has a handicap and the other person is a strong rider.

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L*I*T*A* 8/31/2013 12:15PM


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SNOOPYLINKOS 8/31/2013 12:01PM

    I admire your spirit ! It's not easy living with someone who is not supportive. Can't wait to hear all about September 6th and your new walking aid! Whoosh, there goes the silver fox!

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NANCYPAT1 8/31/2013 11:00AM

    Move forward and focus on YOUR progress and don't expect him to be someone he isn't. It is sad, but his approval or lack of it doesn't diminish the success and importance of YOUR journey.

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PATTYKLAVER 8/31/2013 10:24AM

    You inspired me this morning. I thank you very much. You are beautiful!

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TERMITEMOM 8/31/2013 9:50AM

    You are so right to ignore hubby'a barbs... At least you know that on Spark you will get the support you need and deserve! You are doing great, baby, you have the right attitude and I am rooting for YOU!

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NATNOEL 8/31/2013 8:48AM

    You are amazing !! emoticon emoticon

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SANDRALEET 8/31/2013 7:29AM

    We each were made by God and are perfect in his eyes We look like all kind of pots not 2 the same

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NUTRON3 8/31/2013 6:44AM

    Have a great day

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PATRICIAAK 8/31/2013 5:27AM

    All that is necessary is your best. You give that!

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MOLLIEJEAN2 8/31/2013 5:05AM

    Sending good vibes your way, I know how hubby's can be a jerk at times but we are here to cheer you on and give our support so don't let him get you down. One day all his problems will catch up with him and he will have the issues or worse so just cause he is stupid and abuses his body like that don't mean he needs to take it out on you. Remember you are beautiful inside and out and don't let his negativity get you down. Do what you can when you can and you can do it. emoticon emoticon

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LOSIN_IT4GOOD 8/31/2013 3:35AM

    Wow...he sounds toxic!
I admire your courage and strength...and applaud you for seeing what's important for you. Keep up the good work!

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ARTJAC 8/31/2013 2:10AM


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COCK-ROBIN 8/31/2013 1:03AM


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JOANOFSPARK 8/31/2013 1:00AM

    emoticon Loved your is very motivating....:)

Comment edited on: 8/31/2013 1:00:40 AM

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SUSIEPH1 8/31/2013 12:42AM

    Sending positive and loving vibes your way .. I think your Hubby is playing with fire using the drugs he is on .. It's obviously affecting his persona.
I think it is very unkind of him to not be supportive and to say what he said .. Having said that ... Is he usually so unfeeling ? Or do you think he has a problem ? .. Love and Hugs my dear.
Susie emoticon emoticon

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2ABBYNORMAL 8/31/2013 12:27AM

    In spite of the guy and his negativity towards you, it sounds like you are doing as well as can be expected or better. You are getting a lot more exercise than I am.
What is RX and ETOH which he takes.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WALLAHALLA 8/31/2013 12:22AM


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MISSLISA1973 8/30/2013 11:51PM

    I am sorry for all you are going through, especially that you are lacking support (both figuratively and literally) at home. We are proud of you too. Please know we are sending you all the positive vibes we can. Do you feel them? They are flying out of me so fast, I'm getting goose bumps! I sure hope they cover you like a blanket!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MJ7DM33 8/30/2013 11:30PM

  WTG! Thx!

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NOWYOUDIDIT 8/30/2013 11:14PM

    You are doing fantastic!! And you are not your butt. Yes it's part of you, but it's not you! :o) When I was diagnosed my husband got angry. Then he got angry that he had to drive me to appointments because I was losing my vision and he had to drive me until I completely lost it in my right eye I could not drive.
Why was he angry?? And he's never had a weight problem.
I know your pain.
Wow! 45 minutes is huge! I'm up to 10 mn on the recumbent bike.

You are beautiful! You are already perfect. All the rest you do, losing weight, getting healthy, is frosting on the cake! You will get there! It's so sad we have to do it alone. Wish you lived closer. You are here in my heart.
hugs and prayers :o)

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WEEPINGANGEL74 8/30/2013 10:47PM

    I hope September 6th brings you the satisfaction and results you want. 45 minutes on the bike is GREAT!!!

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LHLADY517 8/30/2013 10:45PM

    You are awesome. Keep it up. I'm so proud of what you have accomplished.
And these:
I am proud of my achievement.
I ate well today.
Made many quarts of juice today.
Drank fresh fruit and vegetable juice.
I did well on working towards my goals.

...are awesome

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