Friday, August 30, 2013
Thanks for all of the comments on my last blog about my fear of change and losing weight. I felt so much better after I got out all of those emotions and started to deal with them. So much better in fact that I lost 6 pounds in the last week and a half. I stepped on the scale last night and I just stared at the number. It doesn't feel real that I'm into the 220's. That seems crazy!
I'm finally allowing myself to get some new clothes now that I've lost so much weight. I have gotten a few things over the course of the summer, like five pairs of capri's for work and a pair of new jeans. but now all of my tops are really loose as well. I have to say that it didn't feel great when people started to point that out to me, but I know they mean well. I just should come with a sign that says "very sensitive" about all body-related topics.
I've had a few people stop me and ask me what my secret is for losing the weight. And I smile a little and tell them there is no secret. I stopped eating the bad stuff and started to get active in my life. I'm signed up for two 5k walks next month and then a 10k in October. And last night, my trainer said that she thinks I can lose 100 pounds by the end of December, which would have been exactly one year since I started this lifestyle change.
100 pounds? That seems so huge, and yet it hasn't been my ultimate goal for the year. I could be happy with 73 pounds lost, if I knew that I had done my best and worked hard. but 100 doesn't sound so bad either. Can I really do that? My trainer was right when she also said that I must have thought about losing100 pounds before, and that is correct, but I had never said it out loud. My mini goals until December is 15 pounds by October 12 (my birthday) and after yesterday's weigh-in, it is actually 12 pounds. And then another 15 pounds by December 30. Between now and then, I have three walks to do and plenty of time to dedicate to my health.
But if I don't make it, if I only get to 87 or 92 pounds by December 30th, that's still amazing. That means less weight for me to carry around with me, less weight to worry about when I want to fly somewhere or just not to get me feeling winded when I'm chasing my friends' kids around. And no matter how much weight I lose, if I hit my goal or not, I will know that I made the most of 2013 and that 2014 is going to be that much better because of the hard work I've done this year.
I literally cannot wrap my head around the fact that I'm in the 220's. I cannot remember the last time I was this small! Not that I'm excited to be going shopping this weekend, but I'm definitely not dreading it as much as I was earlier this week. I'm still nervous but I'm trying to listen to the voices around me (positive, uplifting) instead of listening to my own doubts and concerns. None of this healthy journey has been easy, but I'm feeling more confident about my progress.
Happy Friday everyone!!