Thursday, August 29, 2013
I read the article this morning on happiness www.sparkpeople.com/reso
and it really made me think about my happiness. I'm not a happy person. I try to be, but I feel overwhelmed and stressed ALL THE TIME! This article really made me realize a lot about myself and how my negative thinking and attitude gets in the way of being happy. I snap at the kids a lot, for 'laughing too loudly while I'm on the phone.' I am always on the go. 'Run, run, run!' is my motto lately. I don't even enjoy my surroundings half the time! Heck, it took me 3 months to notice the apartment building I pass on a daily basis was burned down! And it is literally right on the edge of the road!
I want to be happy. I really do. I just don't know where to begin! Money is always tight and the hubby can't understand why. We make good money but we've been behind and playing catch up for a while! So he's always getting on me for stupid things. Like this morning, I brought a box of stuff in from my van to put up. It was just a collection of toys and stuff that the kids left in the van. The box was for some stuff I was going to pack up for the Goodwill or to put in the shed for a garage sale with my sister. Hubby was looking for something and tripped over the box, cursing me for bringing it in. Then he started in on a pile of the kids school papers I was saving. Just drawings and things I wanted to put in my scrapbook. Again, he got upset and told me I was becoming the biggest hoarder he knew. That upset me. Our apartment is small and we can't really move out until our finances are straightened out (his erratic spending). But it's clean. I don't have mounds and mounds of stuff taking up space. It's a little messy at times, but that's bc we LIVE there. And even if I wanted the place clean enough to pass the white glove test, no way in hell would the boys allow me to and it would be too stressful to even try!
Anyway, I got off subject. Happy. That's what I want! So I'm going to start resetting my happiness point. I'm going to start looking at things in a more positive manner. Maybe I need to start blogging about one happy thing I think about or that happens each day.Or even update my status with a happy thought or moment. I'm just tired of feeling hopeless and like everyone in the world is happy and I'm stuck in the land of absolute misery!
Sorry for the depressing rant. I feel better! Thanks for reading, if you got this far!
Happy moment of the day: The scale finally went below 194! I'm 193.6!
Happy thought of the day: I can't wait to go home and hug my boys!
Have a wonderful day everyone!