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    AMANDANCES   32,626
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My weight loss was just a dream! :(

Thursday, August 29, 2013

I've basically stopped having these, but shortly after my son was born I would have a nightmare where I would "wake up" one morning to find that my pregnancy and my son's birth were both just dreams I had while I was asleep. These were VERY disturbing and I would wake up crying. Then I'd have to go in to check on my little guy, to make sure he was REAL.

(We tried to have a baby for a VERY long time, in the neighborhood of eight years. Neither of us had health insurance that covered fertility, so at one point we just "gave up" and tried to accept that we would be childless. Long story short, I think once we "gave up," it worked. But the odds were so against us, and it's highly doubtful I'll ever have another, so Little Bear is pretty much a miracle baby.)

Every now and then and I have a similar nightmare involving weight loss. I wake up to the realization that I haven't really lost ANYTHING -- it was all just a dream.

I'm not sure why I have these, but when I do I have to traipse out to the bathroom to weigh myself and "make sure." Then I have to get off and back on the scale, and squint at it very carefully to make sure it still reads 143 and not 193. It takes a little bit of time to convince myself.

---

This week and last week's calorie count have been on the high end of my range, and I haven't made the differential I've been aiming for. That's okay. I know I won't have gained any weight, at least.

Starting September 1st, I'm introducing a new fitness plan with more yoga, stationery biking on non-running days, and I think a little more pilates rather than lower-body strength training. I'm sort of considering actually getting (or borrowing) a bicycle since we've had hot but not unpleasant weather all month, and the fall is expected to be really nice. (This summer started out as one of the rainiest we've had in several years, but that tapered off in July.)

I assume I can get my heart rate up enough on a regular bike, even though I'll only be going through the flat areas of the subdivision. I'd REALLY love to get roller blades again, but our streets are really bad for skating.

---

Took Little Bear to the library last night for some new books, and he ran the entire length of the building and back, faster that I run! I mentioned to him that I'd found some new races for him to run in September, so now he's incredibly excited, and had to go get his medal and show it to us again. Over and over. All. Night. Long. LOL. I'm not sure how old kids have to be before they can do any kind of organized running (beyond the 100-meter dash events at the kids runs) but I have GOT to get him involved. He loves running.

He has been watching me knit with more interest than usual. He wants to climb in my lap and watch, but I can't really get a good angle, so that doesn't usually work for us. I have this fantasy that one day he'll ask me to teach him how to knit and he'll enjoy it as much as me. I remember my own grandmother and mother trying to explain crochet to me as a child, and I would make endless chains while my grandma made doll clothes and my mom made rosettes that she sewed into afghans. Or maybe Grandma will show him how to crochet (she currently claims she can't remember how. Whatever.)

By the way, knitting is a GREAT hobby for people trying to control what they eat. You need both hands to knit, and you don't want to get food on your hands because that transfers to the yarn, so you fast while you're working :) Just a tip.

:)
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANGEL117 8/30/2013 11:19PM

    I lost my mom in 2005, I had to take her off life support. I have a dream quite often that I find her and she's still alive and she'd just been hiding from me. My weight has fluctuated from 130 to 180 and to be honest when I see myself in the mirror I don't notice that much of a difference. Your bond with your son is precious. I greatly enjoy the videos you post. Nice that he may be a crocheting runner someday!!! Track Star!!!!

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TIMOTHYNOHE 8/30/2013 12:27AM

    No dreams, but I still do a double take in the mirror. It's weird

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SPARKLINGHOPE 8/29/2013 4:56PM

    Maybe I could learn to knit? :)

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TEXASLYNN 8/29/2013 2:12PM

    Enjoyed your blog!

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GETULLY 8/29/2013 1:40PM

    If he wants to watch you, sit on the floor with him on the chair/couch. That way he can see over your shoulder and watch exactly what your hands are doing with the pretty string and sticks. You may have a knitter!

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LJCANNON 8/29/2013 1:16PM

    emoticon I am a tually Surprised that I HAVEN'T had the Dream about the Weight Loss not being 'Real'. Maybe I just don't remember my dreams or because I was Expecting it, it didn't happen?
emoticon Encourage Little Bear's Love of Running AND Knitting! Maybe he will be Famous one day. Wasn't it Rosie Greer who was a Famous Football Star and Knitter back in the day?

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SEAJESS 8/29/2013 11:21AM

    AH yes, those dreams.... guess the blessing is that they make me SO GRATEFUL for the reality of what I have. And that's a GOOD thing, right?

Great tip on knitting! Just the rationalization to buy some nice knitting wool for fall that I needed.

emoticon

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IFDEEVARUNS2 8/29/2013 10:21AM

    Knitting, sewing, anything with your hands is great not just to keep your hands busy but mostly your mind. I eat when I'm bored!

Eating at the higher end of your range may be beneficial. I lose better when I do that. So counterintuitive!

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ANDREAG89 8/29/2013 9:54AM

    Your dream sharing reminded me to look up the dream dictionary for one of mine I had last night. I always find the interpretations interesting. I think you've wanted the weight loss for so long (just like you wanted the baby for so long) that you have a fear that the good is gone! How wonderful that those blessings are real!

When Little Bear is old enough, he may love being on his school's Cross Country team. My daughter's involvement began in Jr. High. It's been such a positive experience, and I really wish I had been involved when I was that age.

Thanks for sharing!

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RENATA144 8/29/2013 9:45AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WALDEN9 8/29/2013 9:44AM

  I definitely liked your posting. having fun with the kids is the right thing to do. as for having a hobby to keep your hands busy, I enjoy crocheting. it is very therapeutic also. I like making blankets for family members.

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EMPRESSAMQ 8/29/2013 9:34AM

    Over time, I think, that dream will go away. Congratulations on your great success on the weight loss journey.

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