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    AUTUMNHOPE   13,258
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Not goodbye , but see you soon to my Spark friends


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

As I stated in my status, DS will be starting his program Tues. I will start back at work a week later as long as he transitions well.
He is doing okay at the moment, far from perfect, but it's hard to balance being able to function & being medicated enough to hold back the Bi-polar. I am hopeful , though & putting our fate in Gods hands because this whole thing has been bigger than me for a long time now.

I have much to attend to before he starts next week . I'm gonna try to get us on a schedule. It's hard because the meds don't conform to schedules.

I will again be getting up about 4:00 - 4:30 to get us ready, exercise , etc. before we head out. Then will have all DS's needs after work & regular responsibilities , so as I stated I will Spark much less. I am a widow & it all falls on my shoulders, so it is hard to balance it all.

I ask my friends to pray for his integration to go well, for him to follow their rules & make friends & be happy.Also for me, I am very nervous that I'll start back at work & then he'll start acting up again & I'll start getting phone calls that I need to pick him up. Before the hospitalization this was happening several times a week & it was wearing my nerves down
terribly. I guess whatever happens I cannot control it & can just do my best & see what's to come.

If you need an urgent prayer or need an opinion , etc. you may Spark mail me . I'll check this daily in case my friends need to vent , whatever, otherwise I'll do the best I can to catch up on blogs, etc. a couple times a week.
I want you to know HOW much each & everyone of your friendships, encouraging words , goodies have meant to me. I was TRULY a lost soul upon starting here.Pretty songs from our sweet southern belle,Dachelle, compassionate thoughts & loving wisdom of Gail, A_BIT_AT_A_TIME's acceptance of me as a lost , hurt teen, NILLAPEPSI's daily motivational blogs, BLEESEDTOBEME"S giving spirit. My friends saying, you can do it ! Letting me vent about DS, healed my mind & spirit. I was completely lost & broken . I had so many things happen to me one after the other in my life & this ongoing tornado with my son was the topper for me. I cannot tell you what a dark , scary , confused place I was in . Gods words & your friendships rescued me & this is NO exaggeration . People underestimate the power of kind words .
I HAD lost myself & was living with mental illness , needed a break & there was no one to give one. I WAS in the pit of despair. White knuckling it through each moment & MYSHEL7 reached out to me, she was my first ,friend. I was very broken & mistrusting . I truly believe God led her to my blog . Her sweet , gentle encouragement touched me & then I saw signs that we shared interests. Then she friended me. A little thing to some , but here on my page everyday was her little picture saying ,she chose ,ME! I was not alone. She helped me through each day, giving me something to look forward to, helping me make goals, rooting me on when I succeeded & when I failed.Not realizing with each message & blog comment she was inching me from the pit that was about to finally swallow me whole. I do not value any of my Spark friends more than another. Just as we do not with our children. Each one offers something SO special . Without each & every one our lives would be lesser than, but my dear Michelle was there in the beginning, & stuck by my side until God gave me all I needed to find my way again.God bless you, Michelle.

So to you all , know I CARE & will be more absent , but will miss this interaction throughout my day & will still be on the sidelines cheering all of you precious sisters on ! WE CAN DO IT !

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CANADIANKIM 8/31/2013 12:26PM

    Autumnhope, you have been such a gift to me. My program, and my life, has been better for having you in it. I am grateful for each word of encouragement.

This is your time of transition. This is your time to pour energy into yourself. We have benefited from your time and strength....and we send all of that strength, hope, and confidence back to you.

Please ask for help if you need it....in any way. Much love!
- Kim


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GAILANN48 8/31/2013 10:35AM

    What a spirit of light you are, my friend! I think it's true that we underestimate the power of kind words and encouragement to each other, though it's clear that you understand that well. I'm utterly stunned at the insight you display, and the heart that shows us all Whose you are. Thank YOU, dear one, for your constancy.

As for Sparking less, there are seasons for all things (a wise woman who calls herself AutumnHope told me that!), and it sounds as if you've certainly got your hands full at the moment! I believe everything you're doing is a step forward, a step into an even healthier life for both you and your son...collectively and separately.

I'll be overjoyed to see you whenever I do, and will be praying for you when I don't. Be well, AutumnHope. :)
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PS - Thank you so much for the holly and for your explanation of the significance. Wonderful.

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HEALTHYMLB 8/30/2013 2:07PM

    you are so strong, you can do this, all you have been through, you will always have lots of people praying for you and thinking of you, you are an inspiration, I will check daily too to see if there is anything new you post so I and we can be here for you too.... xoxox Michelle


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BLESSED2BEME 8/29/2013 10:49AM

    I'm so excited that DS has a program to be involved in and that you will be able to work again. I will certainly keep it all in my prayers. The transition certainly won't be easy but will be worth it. I can relate on so many levels. Everyday I pray that my DS stays the course and I constantly wonder what the next challenge we have to face with him will be.

You have helped me so much by knowing what I've gone through. I hate that we both have to deal with son's who have mental illness but I am grateful I found you through spark.

Praying that you continue to take care of you through this all! As you have time, I look forward to hearing how it all turns out.

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NILLAPEPSI 8/29/2013 7:12AM

    I'll be praying fervently for you & DS. Family always comes first, even before Spark -- we understand.

We're here when you need us. emoticon emoticon



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MSHEL7 8/28/2013 11:15PM

    Oh, my, I don't even know what to say. You are too good, and make me teary eyed. I am sorry you won't be Sparking as much, but I know it will be the best for you at the time. You have to be a mom first, that is the way life is. Just don't forget to take care of yourself in the mean time, okay. I personally think God led us to each other, he has a way of doing things like that. I have needed you as much as you needed me, maybe more. Let us know occasionally how things are going and how to pray for you and your son. Know for a fact that I pray for you often. Vent to us too, if and when you need too.
Love you friend!! emoticon

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ROCKPORT9 8/28/2013 11:06PM

    Bless you and your son. May this transition go smoothly. Know you are cared for and will be missed. Hugs, Laurel emoticon

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MRSP90X 8/28/2013 9:10PM

    My prayers are with you as well, and I shall miss you dearly!! You are such a sweet kind friend with a keen sense of knowing just what to say to touch someones heart!! And, isn't God good to have given you a friend on here right away!! I haven't known you long, but you have brought such sparkle into my life knowing you are there cheering me on!! emoticon . Since I cannot get anymore emoticons for some reason on my phone: many, many, many, many, hugs, hugs, hugs, hugs, and best, best, best!!!
Trina

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JOANOFSPARK 8/28/2013 9:05PM

    My thoughts and prayers go with you....all you can do is take it a day at a time.....seems like that is the way our family has been living for some time....and it's not easy, but as you said.......this is a fantastic caring community for which I am eternally grateful....Be sure to check in from time to time just to get your booster shot of unconditional love...

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A_BIT_AT_A_TIME 8/28/2013 9:00PM

    We will miss you tremendously - you have brightened so many of our days with your gentle encouragements. Thank you so much for your friendship - come back and visit when you can and especially when you need to.
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MNDEBBIE1 8/28/2013 8:46PM

    My prayers are with you and your son. You ever need a shoulder just spark mail and vent. I will emoticon friend. Debbie

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TMRGRANNY 8/28/2013 5:40PM

    I will continue to keep you and your son in my prayer. You have truly been a blessing to me the short time that I have been your friend. We will be here when you need to someone to listen to your venting as well. God speed...

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BROADBRUSH 8/28/2013 4:49PM

    all my thoughts and good wishes right back at you. one day at a time my friend - you will accomplish a lot.
hugs - BB

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AWESOMECHELZ 8/28/2013 4:34PM

    You are a kind soul who goes through so much. I will pray for you and your son. emoticon

Love, Chelsea emoticon

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MATTEROFHEART 8/28/2013 4:21PM

    What a precious friend you are! Thank you for letting us know what is going on with you. I feel like I have kind of dropped off the map this week, too, since school started! You and DS are in my prayers as you start this new time of transition! Take good care of yourself and we are always here for you when you need us!
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