As I stated in my status, DS will be starting his program Tues. I will start back at work a week later as long as he transitions well.
He is doing okay at the moment, far from perfect, but it's hard to balance being able to function & being medicated enough to hold back the Bi-polar. I am hopeful , though & putting our fate in Gods hands because this whole thing has been bigger than me for a long time now.
I have much to attend to before he starts next week . I'm gonna try to get us on a schedule. It's hard because the meds don't conform to schedules.
I will again be getting up about 4:00 - 4:30 to get us ready, exercise , etc. before we head out. Then will have all DS's needs after work & regular responsibilities , so as I stated I will Spark much less. I am a widow & it all falls on my shoulders, so it is hard to balance it all.
I ask my friends to pray for his integration to go well, for him to follow their rules & make friends & be happy.Also for me, I am very nervous that I'll start back at work & then he'll start acting up again & I'll start getting phone calls that I need to pick him up. Before the hospitalization this was happening several times a week & it was wearing my nerves down
terribly. I guess whatever happens I cannot control it & can just do my best & see what's to come.
If you need an urgent prayer or need an opinion , etc. you may Spark mail me . I'll check this daily in case my friends need to vent , whatever, otherwise I'll do the best I can to catch up on blogs, etc. a couple times a week.
I want you to know HOW much each & everyone of your friendships, encouraging words , goodies have meant to me. I was TRULY a lost soul upon starting here.Pretty songs from our sweet southern belle,Dachelle, compassionate thoughts & loving wisdom of Gail, A_BIT_AT_A_TIME's acceptance of me as a lost , hurt teen, NILLAPEPSI's daily motivational blogs, BLEESEDTOBEME"S giving spirit. My friends saying, you can do it ! Letting me vent about DS, healed my mind & spirit. I was completely lost & broken . I had so many things happen to me one after the other in my life & this ongoing tornado with my son was the topper for me. I cannot tell you what a dark , scary , confused place I was in . Gods words & your friendships rescued me & this is NO exaggeration . People underestimate the power of kind words .
I HAD lost myself & was living with mental illness , needed a break & there was no one to give one. I WAS in the pit of despair. White knuckling it through each moment & MYSHEL7 reached out to me, she was my first ,friend. I was very broken & mistrusting . I truly believe God led her to my blog . Her sweet , gentle encouragement touched me & then I saw signs that we shared interests. Then she friended me. A little thing to some , but here on my page everyday was her little picture saying ,she chose ,ME! I was not alone. She helped me through each day, giving me something to look forward to, helping me make goals, rooting me on when I succeeded & when I failed.Not realizing with each message & blog comment she was inching me from the pit that was about to finally swallow me whole. I do not value any of my Spark friends more than another. Just as we do not with our children. Each one offers something SO special . Without each & every one our lives would be lesser than, but my dear Michelle was there in the beginning, & stuck by my side until God gave me all I needed to find my way again.God bless you, Michelle.
So to you all , know I CARE & will be more absent , but will miss this interaction throughout my day & will still be on the sidelines cheering all of you precious sisters on ! WE CAN DO IT !