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KITT52
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Am I a food addict...

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

This was my post on a thread talking about FOOD Addiction...
.....

I too wonder about the same issue...AM I FOOD ADDICT.... somedays I say yes, and some NO....but in order for my peace of mind and my plan I say yes....I let my weight keep me from having the best life I could....so many people tried to encourage me to go further with my education but I feared going to more college because of the size of the desks, because I could not walk as much as I would have needed , I was ashamed to be seen...I was content to stay with my job, because it was safe, they knew me...they knew what I could and could not do....Now that I think about it, they loved me for me and made my job as easy as possible because they understood my limitations because of my weight.....I really should thank them for helping me for nearly 30 years...
I also let my weight change the person I could have become, I shied away from parties, from social events, from my family....I was ashamed of my weight, how fat I had become...oh I tried every Monday to stick with a diet, but it didn't work....
Sad part now I still shy away from social events, I don't like crowds, I like being alone at times....I get anxious even now when I have to meet new people or go new places....now I force myself to go....DH use to shelter me too, he always asked for a table never a booth, he always held my hand or but his arm around me when there were people around or looking at me or whispering, where I could here....he told people when we would first meet them how he loved me inside as well as outside....he would make it a point to say I saw the true beauty in her soul, her smile lights up my life from the first moment we meet....but I never really believed it....I have a hard time with trust, heck I am not sure I can trust myself.....because I was scared humiliated and embarassed because of my weight.....How could any one let them selves get so fat...

I don't want to think that my weight hurt any one but me....but when I search deep in my soul I know the answer is yes....I backed away from people I loved....I hurt the feeling of people I loved because of my weight....I did not want to embarrass them to be seen with me....

so see sounds like I am a food addict that has control these days....but the future will bring who know....
and I could be stuffing my face again...but for now I take it one day at a time....thanks to God, my friends , my family and mostly Spark People....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v IMTCDZ
    I know this is an older blog but wanted to comment anyway. I'd have to say I'm a food addict. I'm still in the depths of the addiction. I'm hoping, praying that I can find the strength to do what I need to do to gain control. This addiction has made me compassionate of others that are addicted - be it to drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc. I admire anyone that succeeds in breaking free. Thanks for sharing your journey. Your success gives me hope....thank you!!!!
    988 days ago
  • v SOCKITTOME
    Powerful blog, Kitt. I can relate to a lot of what you said, preferring solitude at times. Part of it is my weight, and part of it is my hearing loss (too hard to hear in crowds and I don't play along with it now like I did when I was younger). You have come a long way and I applaud you as you continue on your journey.
    1004 days ago
  • v ERIECANALGAL
    emoticon emoticon
    1004 days ago
  • v SAISHA100CJ
    emoticon You are a sweetheart. Have an awesome weekend. {{{{Hugs}}}}
    1005 days ago
  • v WARMSPRINGDAY
    You are reaching deep into your soul into places I fear to go. I might have to look up some threads on food addiction. I barely have time to even journal right now, and listening to the audio book Shades of Hope while driving isn't conducive to writing down my answers to her questions. So I feel like everything just swirls around in my head and I feel hopeless.
    emoticon
    1006 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/29/2013 8:18:24 PM
  • v TERMITEMOM
    Kitt, this was a great blog. Very moving. Thanks and emoticon
    1006 days ago
  • v NASFKAB
    lovedyour blog lots to think about thanks
    1006 days ago
  • v SIMPLYABUNDANT
    What a beautiful and heartfelt blog. I have always looked up to you, and I don't even know you in Real Life. I just know what a strong, courageous woman you are in order to have lost the weight you have and maintained it. I can only imagine that the people who are actually in your life love you very much. I can relate to how weight keeps us on the sidelines of life. Me too. But you are shining now, Kitt!
    emoticon
    P.S. Just wanted to add ~ about the food addict question. I think you can be a food addict who, by the grace of God, is abstinent today.
    1006 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/29/2013 2:26:12 PM
  • v AJDOVER1
    emoticon
    1007 days ago
  • v MICKEYH
    Wow, this is a very good blog. Made me ponder a moment. Am I a food addict? Like you, it seems control a bit for now. But inside of me is very scare that at any moment I can go back to my old days.
    I've lost quite bit of weight but I feels like "Skelton inside my closet." Hopefully, together we can win over any fear that we have and be happy and healthy. Thank you for sharing this blog.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1007 days ago
  • v TRAILWALKERJO54
    Kitt

    no honey --- you might be a food addict --- but you are controlling it now ..
    And when you were obese you had a shield up even with your hubby.. even though if you look at it he loved you with out restrictions & I am sure your family loved you the same way .. even though you hid from them... or as you think hurt them ..

    I know this as I have many heavy friends/relatives and it doesn't matter their size I love them just the same -- what I do not like is that they are jeopardizing their health .. which I think your friends and family wanted only the best for you ---good health ..

    So stop playing the guilt game on yourself .. forgive the past and live for today..
    You are doing marvelous --maintaining your weight living healthy acting healthy ... what more could you do!

    emoticon Jo
    1007 days ago
  • v CHANGING-TURTLE
    emoticon emoticon
    1007 days ago
  • v PHOENIX1949
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    1007 days ago
  • v LAINIESNEWLIFE
    Kitt, thank you for sharing your life with us. You're doing awesome. All anyone can do is take one day at a time. We're here for you!!!
    1007 days ago
  • v KIMBERLY_Y
    You go Spark Friend.
    1007 days ago
  • v SPEEDY143
    emoticon emoticon Kitt... one day at a time emoticon
    1007 days ago
  • v KATHYJO56
    Kitt, All I can do is cry right now.. Did you write this blog? It sounds so much like my story, with just small variances. You are awesome and together, we can win the war, because I feel like that is exactly what this is. I am proud to be your friend. emoticon
    1007 days ago
  • v CHRISTASP
    Very interesting blog.
    What you wrote about your husband is very touching.
    1007 days ago
  • v CRYSTLE4HIMTX12
    emoticon
    1007 days ago
  • v BUTTERFLYGRACE
    emoticon We can so win this battle!! And we're worth every effort it takes!
    1007 days ago
  • v BARBARAROSE54
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    Kitt I could have written this, unfortunately I am still in this lifestyle. emoticon
    1007 days ago
  • v DUSTYPRAIRIE
    I met you sight unseen and knew you were a special lady. Everytime I march, which is often, I think of you because you inspired that behaviour in me. Your past, hurtful as it was to you, has inspired many to continue with their journey.

    No matter what size you are, I am proud to call you a friend and mentor.

    emoticon
    1007 days ago
  • v KNYAGENYA
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    1007 days ago
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