Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Let me start off by saying this blog will be full of whining. I'm sure of it. You were warned!
My best friend was due in town later this week, but surprised me by coming a bit early yesterday. We decided to go to this open mic night at a place in my new town, stayed out way too late on a "school night" aka work night, ate french fries and drank beer, BUT had an awesome time.
I woke up with intentions to go for a wog this morning. I'm still dressed in my gear, it still may happen today... but I come downstairs and it is POURING. Sorry - I need my phone/music and I only have one pair of shoes so I can't ruin those things in a downpour - no wog for me. It is still sporadically pouring so I'm just kind of like... hanging. Working from home.
I am very thankful for my work from home days. I would have been screwed today if I wasn't at home, because as I went to take care of some bills this morning I realized my wallet is gone. I'm pretty sure I left it at the bar. Unfortunately they don't open until 3pm so I'm just sitting here making myself sick and checking my bank account compulsively. I have NEVER lost my wallet. I am so mad at myself!
I made myself a nice breakfast but my stomach is definitely acting up. I somehow managed to slice my finger open so now I have that bandaged up. My brain is not right! See what I mean about internalizing stress?! I think I need to take a break today to try this meditation thing, although I'm sure my brain won't settle until I know the status of my wallet. Ya know?!
Thanks everyone for the support on my status this morning. I was feeling down. I was planning on being a little "bad" on Thursday when I KNEW I was seeing my friend. I also have lunch out with coworkers tomorrow AND my friend's mom is making us her signature stuffed shells dinner so... help me. This week is more of a challenge than I thought! But I hardly ever see my best friend, and rarely get her mom's stuffed shells... eating a smaller portion is better than other options, I hope. Add on our planned weekend away coming up and... yikes. So many obstacles. Maybe obstacles isn't the right word? Challenges? Situations where making good choices are extra difficult? lol
With all of this, I am still in some very weird funk. My mood is in a place that I am struggling to get out of and it is starting to worry me. The missing wallet is not helping, I'm sure, but the anxiety/sadness cloud is hanging. Blah. It clouds my judgement and makes things feel tougher to deal with.
I'm just having that kind of week. I'm trying to roll with it and push through it. I would like some routine and healthy habits development back in my life. Ever feel like your life is lining up to make that stuff way more difficult than it needs to be, or is that just my messed up brain talking?
I gotta keep pushing, no matter how tired or sad or anxious or busy that I get. Push Push Push through these days to better ones.