Two old friends were walking down the street when one turned to the other and said, “Did you know that I’m a walking economy?”
His friend, confused, asked, “What do you mean by that?”
“Well,” the man said, “my hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors has put me in a deep depression.”
What is an onychophagist?
A person who bites his or her nails.
(Wow, who knew there was a name for that? I used to be a nail-biter big time, but I stopped cold turkey when I got engaged. I haven't bitten my nails since - over 21 years now! My parents tried and tried to bribe me to stop - they bought me a transistor radio (who remembers those?) when I had stopped one time. They took it away when I started biting my nails again. They also bought me troll dolls (I absolutely LOVED them and still do-I have several including wedding trolls currently) - but that didn't work either for long. I amazed myself when I realized that I had finally beaten the nail-biting for good when I got married and still had nails after a full year!
Laverne & Shirley stars Penny Marshall (Laverne) and Cindy Williams (Shirley) often clashed over minor things—such as which actress had more lines in an episode or the most square footage in her dressing room. As the series continued its seven-year run (1976–83), Williams became increasingly resentful of the power she felt Marshall wielded. (Marshall’s brother, Garry Marshall, had created the series.) The feud finally peaked in 1982, when Williams walked off the set, claiming that producers were using her real-life pregnancy to force her out. She filed a $20 million lawsuit that was later settled out of court. That also meant that the final season of Laverne & Shirley didn’t have Shirley in it.
(I guess some of those fights Laverne and Shirley were actually real, huh?)
In 11 years of operation (1995–2006), UPN never made a profit, and lost more than $1 billion.