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Toying With the Telemarketer

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.

ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.

ME: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T Ö

ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T Ö

ME: Is this AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?

ME: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.

ME: OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

ME: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

ME: May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T Ö

ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T Ö

ME: The phone company?
AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We arenít selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

ME: Now, thatís 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, thatís right! 24 hours a day!

ME: 7 days a week.?
AT&T: Thatís right.

ME: 365 days a year.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! Thatís amazing!
AT&T: We think so!

ME: Thatís quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, itís amazing how it adds up.

ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?

ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?

ME: You said youíd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. Iím just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didnít mean weíd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that youíll give me 10 cents a minute, that Iíll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? Iíve read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for

ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I donít think that is necessary.

ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?
ME: Yeah.

SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: Is This A T &T?

SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, Iíll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?

ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that ďFriends and FamilyĒ thing because Iím an only child and Iíd really like to have a little brotherÖ

AT&T: clickÖÖ..
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PURPLELVR7 8/31/2013 7:47AM

    LOL

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DIDMIS 8/29/2013 4:39PM

    I got a call yesterday while eating in a noisy restaurant. It was a telemarketer.
They had a fabulous gift for me but I had to be home owner.
They said "Are you a homeowner".
Me "click"
Hung up. None of their business.

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PDSLIM 8/28/2013 1:52PM

    emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 8/28/2013 1:48PM

    Brilliant!

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DALID414 8/28/2013 11:31AM

    emoticon

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FELINA 8/28/2013 10:59AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Hysterical ! Love it !

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BRENDA_G50 8/28/2013 7:19AM

    I retired from AT&T and I remember customers like you when I had to call for Customer Satisfaction Surveys. emoticon

It's a good thing I had a sense of humor back then or I would never have made it through the day. emoticon

Thankfully I never had to call anyone during the dinner hour. emoticon

Thanks for the walk through memory lane, it was a hoot. emoticon

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RASPBERRY56 8/28/2013 5:48AM

    There's a special place in "you know where" for those "people" (note the QUOTES)!

Always good to hear stories where they get what they deserve!

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GHOSTFLAMES 8/28/2013 4:49AM

    THAT WAS SO FUNNY! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYPRIYA 8/28/2013 4:18AM

    lol

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COLLEENROSTE 8/28/2013 4:01AM

    that was good emoticon

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