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Emotionally draining week

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I know she's just a dog but right now she is my BABY...and my baby has cancer. My poor, sweet, beautiful Shandi. I'm starting her chemotherapy on Thursday. I took her to the Cardiologist today to do a recheck echo on her heart to make sure it was still structurally sound for anesthesia when/if I end up amputating her leg. She also has Boxer Cardiomyopathy aka Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Cardiomyopathy, so anesthesia is not a simple thing for her. But the echo went great and the Cardiologist says I shouldn't have to do a whole lot different for her anesthesia. Whew, at least some good news. So I'm starting her Carboplatin (chemo) on Thursday and that will happen once every 3 weeks for 6 treatments total. She'll also get monthly Zometa, which is supposed to strengthen her bone where the cancer is located so it doesn't break. This chemo is not curative - she will die before her time. But I have to do something. I'm not ready to let her go right now. With chemo, I hope to get her to a year. If we're particularly lucky, we'll have that year and maybe more. I caught the cancer early according to the oncologist and radiologist, which is good, not that it changes her prognosis.

Fortunately, I've been too depressed to eat a lot. But I've also been busy with Shandi and haven't been able to get to the gym more than once in the last week. Actually, I lifted weights and was in significant pain for days! I was taking Advil all day for a few days! Ugh. I don't know what I did wrong, I don't feel like I pushed myself that hard, but man! Seriously. It was bad. I couldn't even get through the night because my elbows and shoulders hurt so much, I couldn't sleep.

Husband is working late again, as usual. But he should be able to take the entire day off tomorrow, which is something I'm really looking forward to. He'll probably sleep most of the day to catch up, but that's ok :) At least he'll be at home.

Work is work. It's been a struggle keeping my head in the game over the last few days and I had some pretty complicated cases. I would have been happy to have nothing but vaccines to do, but I guess those tough cases took my mind off of Shandi.

It's funny how things work out, fertility stuff was put on hold - no ultrasound and no insemination. We had to go au-natural, which is hard with my husband's work schedule. All that money I saved by not doing the ultrasound and insemination went to Shandi's treatment, so I guess sometimes the universe works in peculiar ways?

This week I'm going to work on trying to be more positive.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Everything always seems to happen at once doesn't it? It's too bad you have to spend your fertility money but also it is nice you had it available to use. I agree everything happens for a reason, even if it makes no sense. Maybe mother nature wants you to relax about getting pregnant and focus on your baby Shandi for awhile. Amazing how we stress over something then something else terrible happens it helps us put the other stresses in perspective. Thinking of you Eddy!
    1128 days ago
    I'm sad about this too. I'm going to be praying for Shandi. I want you and her to spend every last quality minute together. She is in good hands. I know you will do your best for her. Give her a hug from me and keep one for yourself. emoticon emoticon
    1128 days ago
    I'm so sorry about your dog!!! I hope the chemo helps her. That's an awful situation to be in, but it sounds like you love her a lot and that's really important. I hope that you're able to get another year or more with her. emoticon
    1128 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear about your dog. I have been there with a dog with cancer and I know how precious every day is. You are doing everything you can and I applaud you. On a side note, in case you didn't know, dogs do not have the side effects of chemo that humans have. Good luck with your "baby". She is in good hands!!
    1129 days ago
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