Everything has gone to the wayside for me while the remodel was going on. My house has (gradually) deteriorated terribly. And, the last 2 weeks I did NO housework and NO exercise. Actually, I went 17 days without exercise.
Years ago I went only 14 days without exercise and ended up in severe Congestive Heart Failure, as I (must) exercise to force the excessive blood out of my weakened heart. This time I knew that I was really facing death by not exercising, but I was so exhausted by the stress of all that was going on that each day I said, “Tomorrow”, and tomorrow just never came. I was really scared that by not exercising I was putting myself into the position of having ‘no more tomorrows‘, and I pretty much was willing to ‘go to the other side’. Cause I felt I really have nothing to go on living for on this side. But, then I think of my innocent little dogs, and know that if I pass away they will fall into Chucks hands. And I know that would be a very bad thing for them. And, all along I have felt that God sent me my youngest dog Mocha, and he must have sent him to me for a reason - what I don’t know. I often ask God “Why did you send me such a problem dog? Why would you put me through this God? What am I supposed to learn from this God?“ LOL. But, due to the dream I had about THAT dog a couple of months before I ever laid eyes on him, well I just have always felt God sent him to me. Cause over and over again in my life there have been instances where God plainly acted in my life. Sometimes it is material things and sometimes lifesaving. An example of each:
~ A few years ago, one day I was (half) joking around about “Wouldn’t it be nice to have a paddleboat?” And, then the next day I went out to city wide rummage sales, and lo and behold there was an unadvertised paddle boat (for a fair price). And I bought it. I had to overcome a lot of my fears to go out onto the water. I used it for years, but then I bought a kayak so that I wouldn’t have to be in the same vessel as Chuck.
Now I didn’t (need) a paddle boat. But, I felt this was God’s way of letting me know HE was listening to me, that HE was there for me.
~ A few years later I was traveling and got caught in a freak ice storm and blizzard. Hundred miles an hour winds in a blizzard after it first rained. And even going 35 mph I was sliding off the road and heading straight for a pole. I screamed out, “God help me!” And next thing I knew I slid around that pole and my rear bumper was planted center of my bumper 6 inches from the pole. When I got the wrecker out there, they said, “Lady I don’t know how it is even possible that your car ended up in that position.” Well, I do. God protected me, and God did it in such a way that he made it plain that I (knew) he did, that he was here for me.
There have been many other instances over the course of my life where I know that God was involved. And, since I know God was involved for some reason in my getting Mocha, that helped me keep going during all the trials with raising this problem pup. But, more importantly, knowing God sent me this dog helps keep me wanting to go on when I feel like going to the ‘great beyond’. Cause I don’t think God sent me this dog to take me home ‘yet’. There has to be a reason I am still here on God’s green earth 14 years after doctors expected me to die.
Sometimes I feel that God keeps me going because HE wants me to learn the lessons I need to learn before I go to Heaven. Or so I can go to Heaven. I just really feel that for whatever reason, it ain’t my time to go yet. So, I really gotta do the work that I need to do in (this) life.
So, I gotta get over this (don’t care if I die) stuff, and take much better care of myself.
Yesterday I spent a long time house cleaning. And, I did start back on my exercise.
I haven’t slept well for many weeks now, and I think (part) of that was due to my not exercising. As I always sleep better when I have exercised during the day. I sleep even better if I exercise early in the day. But even exercising in the evening improves my sleep. Yesterday I did 35 minutes aerobic exercise in the evening, and I slept like a baby last night. So good in fact, that I even woke up before the alarm went of.
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