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I have a confession to make...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

My confession is this: I've never really struggled with losing weight ( I know, I can hear some of the "lucky you" and "must be nice") but there is more to it than that. I've never had an issue gaining it either. I'm only 23 and I have a physically demanding job. I gain weight because of my choices in food. I would more than quadruple my sodium intake and I would eat quite a few calories in one sitting as well. I loved pop, especially mountain dew for my caffeine fix because I don't like coffee. My weight fluctuations were NOT normal. A normal fluctuation is about 5 pounds give or a take a few in a week, mine were 10-15 pounds. My periods were horrible, cramping, bloating, fatigue, irritability(PMDD doesn't help either) you name it I had it. All because I wasn't nourishing my body like I should have been and getting the extra exercise in. I was sleeping on and off every hour to two hours a night. Waking up and tossing and turning. Sometimes my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I would have panic attacks at night that I would wake up overheated and sweating and sometimes unable to move to get the blanket off of me. It's scary knowing how young you are and you start having these issues.

When I signed up for sparkpeople it was because I was tired of living this way. I knew it was up to me to change and I knew what I had to do, to do it. I just needed the right tools. As I've previously stated I've lost the weight before but I was using a different site for it. It didn't however have all the things that this site has. It didn't have the network of people out there willing to listen and give advice, pushing you when you need it and cheering you on when you succeed. This is a different atmosphere. I did it alone, I've never been the kind of person to depend on someone else when it comes to things that are personal. However, experiencing this has opened my eyes to a lot of things. That having friends with the same goal can make it easier to lose because you have a good support system.

Ever since I've started this journey, so many things have changed. My weight fluctuations are back in a normal range. It's nice to be able to fit in the same pair of pants two days later. My periods are better and I have more energy while on it, bloating is under control and so is the cramping and moods. I've been sleeping better and more soundly, even though I still don't sleep all that well but I feel more rested. My heart doesn't feel like it's going to beat out of my chest anymore. The number of panic attacks I'd have during the night has decreased dramatically to where they almost don't happen anymore, it would take a really bad day for it to come up. Overall I just feel better, I'm very private when it comes to my personal well being and my feelings. Today, however, I decided to change that for one day. Only a few of my close friends even know I'm doing this, I haven't even announced it on my facebook. I'm just not ready to make that leap yet. For now I think I'll keep my weigh-loss on here with all of my sparkfriends because I know you understand. It's not that I don't think they'll understand, but I want the compliments I get to be sincere and not because of my announcing it to everyone. So far I've gotten two. :)

So, this is my confession. Some of it I have already made public, most of it I have not. I feel better doing it though.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Keep going strong
    1667 days ago
  • ANRRN12
    emoticon your doing great! emoticon
    1667 days ago
    It can be really hard to open up about personal things - I'm the same way. But when you begin to do it some really great things can happen. For instance, you may feel vulnerable, but you also get to feel how great it is to be understood and receive support from someone. You also get to see that so many people struggle with the same things; we are all more alike than we know. The bonus for us is that we get to see what an awesome person you are.

    I'm glad that you don't struggle too much with losing weight. We all have enough struggles that if you can do something this important without a tremendous amount of struggle, you deserve celebration and not jealousy from your friends.

    You are discovering a lot about yourself that will make it even easier for you to become the healthy person you want to be. We're here with you, cheering you on!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1667 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/28/2013 10:10:53 AM
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1667 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/28/2013 10:11:07 AM
    emoticon so glad we have you on board with us !! you are a great inspiration ! Roc
    1668 days ago
  • CHERIJ16
    It sounds like you are getting a good handle on what you need to do and what you shouldn't be doing. (Too much caffeine can give you a rapid heart beat and panic attacks) You should probably mention some of these issues to your doctor. I don't sleep well because of my fibromyalgia but I take a low dose of Elavil to help me get more REM stage sleep. My doctor prescribed it and I've taken it for several years.

    Eating healthier and losing some weight has helped me control my blood sugar and to feel healthier. I finally had to acknowledge that my poor eating habits and lack of exercise were making me sick. If we acknowledge the behavior then we can work to fix it. We're all in this together no matter what our ages. So let's do it! emoticon emoticon
    1668 days ago
    good for you! We ARE all in this together! We all have our own issues similar or different it really doesn't matter we ARE here for the support. FYI I sleep like crap because of menopause! So it only gets worse! LOL emoticon
    1668 days ago
    You are doing it!

    I have found amazing support through Sparkpeople.

    Positive attitude & positive changes = a healthier you.
    1668 days ago
    So proud of you for the progress you've made!! emoticon
    1668 days ago
    Having the knowledge get healthier is great but what is even better is applying it and feeling great about it.

    I'm the same as you. I've only told a few people that I am losing weight. I want some the sincere compliments also. For me, my parents, sister and brother know plus my office mates.

    The great thing about sparkpeople is we are here to support through the good and the bad.

    Keep pushing! emoticon
    1668 days ago
    emoticon Progress through knowledge is wonderful. It is even better once applied. Keep up the good work.
    1668 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.