Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Yesterday I got a letter I was dreading. It was from the Dept. of Labor regarding my Workman's Comp claim. They say that there is not enough sufficient evidence to prove that I cannot work, despite my doctor's claim of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, anxiety disorder and depression.
So now we start all over again with the medical reports, etc. In the meantime, I have not been paid since April 1st. No anxiety here.
So I ate to comfort myself. It's what I always do. This time, all that happened was that I felt sick and disgusted with myself.
This morning that letter was the first thought on my mind when I woke up. I just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep. No depression here.
Instead, I took my son to the bus stop and decided that some claims examiner is not going to take control of my life and how I feel. I'm trying so hard to get better - I will not let this setback derail me. I hope.
I think I also suffer from scale anxiety. So I am not weighing myself or tracking pounds on my ticker. I changed it to fitness minutes instead. I just can't handle any negativity on this journey right now. If I gain a pound, I think I might just lose it altogether and jump off the cliff. I feel pretty close.