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How Did I Eat Like That?

Monday, August 26, 2013

Last Friday, I had written up this post about my blood work - the new online tools my doctor's office provides, how quickly and painlessly it went, and how overall pleased I was with the results.

And then I hit "Post Blog Entry" and lost the entire thing. Apparently the greater than/less than symbol isn't allowed in blog posts and if you use them, your entire post goes away.

When I saw what had happened to all my work, I just stared at my screen for a few moments before closing the window and moving on. Let's just suffice it to say: My results were really good, I have areas for improvement and YAY for online same day blood test results!

Anyway, that's the Blog Post That Never Happened.

So this Saturday, I did a naughty and went off plan. I had a few snacks at a friend's home while we played games. I didn't think much of what I ate - sure it wasn't the healthiest choice, but I certainly don't make a habit of it. I've been really good these past few months, and I'm almost near maintenance. OK, so maybe those are excuses for my laziness and my wanting to eat real food again. But this blog post isn't to shame me for what I ate or make me feel guilty about going off plan - one of the things I want to change is to get rid of those thoughts that would make me say, "You've messed up, so don't bother anymore - bring on the Cheetos!" (Plus, after what happened, I think I got my "punishment"...)

Regardless of why I ate what I did, the last 24 hours have posed some interesting questions: namely, how the *BLEEP* did I eat like this?!?!

On Sunday, I woke up feeling a bit queasy. That feeling got WORSE as the day progressed. It got to the point where I couldn't eat a decent "Lean and Green" dinner because just the thought of turkey burgers or chicken or peppers or tomatoes made me want to vomit. (I somehow ate cucumbers and fat free cream cheese - not the best, but at least I ate.) I spent a good hearty portion of the wee hours of this morning on the toilet, clutching my abdomen, promising my intestines that I would be more tender with them next time. I was half tempted to call in sick to work because I was afraid my bowels would burst.

All this time of my stomach and intestines angrily protesting the weekend "binge", my body barely holding back in vomiting every last thing I ate, I wondered how I did this. This time last year, eating as I did on Saturday would have been a DAILY thing. Overindulgence and bad food choices were my middle names. I would maybe have been a bit sick, but I never would have had to take Alka-Seltzer THREE TIMES in two days, nor a Gas-X (which, in case you were wondering, does NOTHING to help me with bloating and gas). Nor would I have wanted to curl into the fetal position, clutching my stomach in agony.

This goes to show me how far I've come and how insidious bad food choices are. I'm so unused to being so full, eating such bad foods, that my body violently reacts to their presence and wants them OUT. These foods that were once my staples are BAD for me. They make me feel pain and could have easily kept me from going to work or enjoying my life.

And it happened ever so subtly. I didn't just one day go from eating all healthy (OK, mostly healthy) to junky foods constantly with no problems. It was a gradual decline, a dropping of the barriers, building a tolerance to the badness of these foods and then needing even MORE to get those same good feelings. Not too different than being addicted to drugs or alcohol, I would say.

Although these last two days have been a trial, I have actually appreciated them. They have taught me that I don't really want those yucky foods anymore - no matter how "good" they may taste. They taught me that I have really come a long way (YAY!) and that I was truly in a dire state before. And they taught me that my body is much more sensitive than I give it credit and I need to be more cautious about what I put in my mouth!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This happened to me as well. When I cheated on the plan. Before I could drink a bottle of wine and still be OK to drink more. I was hungover for 3 full days after the cheat. Food made me sick and I was living on the stomach meds. Not fun. Hopefully by the end of this process I won't want the old junk food anymore...
    1663 days ago
    emoticon Thank you for your blog emoticon
    1663 days ago
  • CHERYLA2012
    It's remarkable the changes we go through and don't even really realize until we go off-track...!

    Here's to you feeling better soon!
    1663 days ago
    I'm sorry you were so ill, but it certainly shows how our bodies really want the nutrition, not those empty calories.

    Hard lesson, but it sounds like you learned a lot.
    emoticon You're doing great.
    1663 days ago
  • KJACOBS1111
    Keep in mind maintenance is exactly as hard as losing has been, just different. I think that is the biggest thing to learn to keep it off. When I lost weight before it was about 70-75 pounds. I put it back on @ 10 pounds a year...but slowly but surely it did come back. Mostly because those bad foods and treats came back bit by bit. I think that is why I'm so slow losing this time...trying hard to learn about nutrition and find movement I love so once it is gone it will stay gone this time. You are doing great! When you get to goal instead of "I want to eat real food again" maybe think of maintenance as bonus rounds of this journey. It doesn't stop there...then you can focus more on building fitness or healthy cooking or some other aspect of being healthy that you will still need to practice and work on.
    1663 days ago
    Such a true statement. I watch what people around me are eating and I am not even tempted. I'm afraid of what my body would do if I put something fried into it now that I've been eating so healthy. This is a great reminder that I need to consider this my way of eating and stick to it!
    1663 days ago
    Well now you know! emoticon
    1663 days ago
    Are you my secret twin?
    I took a vacation day on Friday. It was just a day for appointments and errands and we stopped at Tommy's Burgers and I had a chili burger. The first few bites tasted good. Then it wasn't good. I ate about half and quit. Done. I ate nothing but some fruit for the rest of the day and drank plenty of water. Mercifully, I didn't get sick.

    My beloved reminded me that I used to have no trouble polishing of a DOUBLE chili cheeseburger and I would also have more than half of a large order of chili cheese fries. I'd wash it down with a large coke. And I would have dinner later (not to mention an unhealthy breakfast earlier).

    How did I eat like that?

    1663 days ago
    Great insight! It is amazing how healthy foods really do nourish the body while unhealthy foods can cause gastrointestinal distress! Whenever I try and eat pizza pizza now, I get horribly ill from it. It sure keeps me away from the stuff!
    1663 days ago
    Thank you so much for sharing! Been there ... done that! I could really relate!
    1663 days ago
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