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looking for motivation

Sunday, August 25, 2013

I dont know I am having a day. Maybe it is I am tired, maybe i am just searching for motivation because this gets so long sometimes. Maybe it is a crying day. It feels like a beat me up day. I am not hungry I dont emotional eat any more. you get up every morning and make this look so easy for every one because you think they are all waiting to tell you that they told you couldnt. you crab a cup of coffee and figure out how you are going to do it one more day. Eventually the routine is in your head and it becomes who you are till you have this day where you cant breath. You know tomorrow it will be better but today it sucks. You force yourself to go workout, you force yourself to eat even though you just dont want to. but in the end you will just cry because the lack of knowledge to do anything else.

So I have been looking through pictures while waiting on Jon so I can try to cheer up some and not sure that helped either. When I look I try so hard to see the changes but i never see me like a picture shows me.

This is me in 2010. I dont know the weight because i never weighed then.

This is me in 2011 at the NOLA 5k for aids 354 pounds

and this is me now yesterday at the wow walk 261 pounds

I am sure you can pick out which one is me ..Any way this is my not so great day blog . I will be happy to go to bed in a little while.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Darlene, have your day. emoticon There are just stinky days in life, as you well know. Our emotions betray us and we have to tread gently. So I give you permission and grace to have a bad day...and me too when I need it. As if my permission matters. LOL

    1610 days ago
    Sometimes a day off is a luxury that you need. Sounds like you don't like to do that, but your body might know better, just for one day! As for motivation, all that you've accomplished so far is fantastic motivation for others, like myself. Every blog post is a reminder to me to keep going forward.
    1611 days ago
    emoticon In that original picture, could you have done the walk that you did this past weekend???? That is motivation right there to do more. Remember how far you have come and how far you will go!
    1611 days ago
  • JOURNEY1986
    Man oh Man do I have not so great days. Actually, mine usually happen at night. The nights where reality hit me and feel so fat, so unattractive, my low self esteem rises to the surface and I feel so ashamed and guilty for letting myself get to weight that I am. I notice it really hits me on the nights where I am over tired and completely drained. I cry, I remember painful things that hit my self esteem so perfectly that I cry even more. Then I start telling myself, "just go to sleep, just go to sleep, things will feel better in the morning after a good night's sleep."

    And they do. Not because I weigh less or because things are suddenly different in my life. But because I go about my day and do things that make me feel good. Either do something work related that I feel proud about, or help someone do something - I do something that makes me feel good about myself, and proud of myself. And it's not ever workout related, not as a rule but because the source of my pride is not typically work out related and it gives me a break from thinking about all of that.

    I can definitely see a big difference in your pictures. you can tell that you've been working hard. Maybe you're working too hard and need a rest day or two to do something fun that makes you feel good? A guilt free day to recover physically and mentally to enjoy yourself, nonfood related. You mentioned before you love the beach - maybe you could go for a walk on the beach and collect shells to make into something sometime when the beach isn't crowded. Or spend the day with someone who makes you happy doing something that makes you happy (I love taking my niece and nephew out when I need a pick me up day - they are fun to be around and they take so much pleasure out of the simple things).

    I'm not sure what will help - but I know when I feel like this it's usually due to being over tired and pushing myself too much. Taking a day or two of relieving myself of the pressure of "having" to work out or "having to do this or that" and just enjoy life (after all, that's why I'm doing all this - to get more enjoyment out of my life) usually helps me AND recharges me so that I can come back with a new plan of action and motivation!

    I'm here for you, I hope you feel better ASAP emoticon
    1611 days ago
    Please pamper yourself a little extra this week. You are awesome. And you are continuing to make good progress--you've already made some tremendous changes. I think you are pretty awesome! emoticon
    1611 days ago
    If my math is correct, you have lost something like 93 pounds. Wow! Think of the extra pressure that you have relieved from your joints, especially your knees. You probably also find it easier to move around and do things, and most likely also have more energy than before. I commend you for the wonderful way in which you are taking care of yourself and treating your body, and hope that you keep going so that your body and spirit will continue to reap the benefits. I hear what you are saying about "crying days" because I have them myself. I just hope and pray that I have the courage to persevere as you have in spite of them. God Bless You, and thanks for sharing. emoticon
    1611 days ago
  • POPSY190
    Yes, motivation sometimes seems part of a perpetual game of hide-and-seek! You probably just need to recharge your batteries; I hope tomorrow is better for you.
    1611 days ago
    I can relate to - dont know the weight because i never weighed then.

    Same here I will never know my highest weight.

    You look great and I am glad to see you are sticking with it even when you don't feel like it. There is no going back.
    1612 days ago
    Thanks for showing up. Thanks for being inspirational, even when you feel nothing like it. Keep on keepin' on, it's what we do! emoticon
    1612 days ago
    emoticon hope tomorrow is better day I see the difference in the 3 pictures and it is a major difference emoticon
    1612 days ago
  • E1SPAG
    Wishing you a bright Monday! You have come so far and done so much hard work. emoticon
    1612 days ago
    Wow you are amazing losing over 90 pounds already. I can see the difference in the pictures and can tell that you have worked hard to get where you are. You are an inspiration. Thanks for sharing
    1612 days ago
    Don't worry we all have our beat myself up days where we feel like we haven't accomplished anything and feel helpless and not motivated, it will pass!
    From the pictures you showed you can see a huge difference even if right now you don't see for yourself because it's one of those days.
    Be proud of what you have accomplished, it doesn't happen over night, although gaining weight does so easy to gain 5 lbs but try to lose it and it takes forever, but it's worth it!
    You look great! Hope tomorrow is your AHA day and you can see all that we are saying is true!
    God Bless! emoticon
    1612 days ago
    that is fantastic! everyone around me is dropping weight and i am still looking for the motivation to keep going. Unfortunately i am still an emotional eater but i am getting better at saying no as long as i can stay focused and remember my plan.
    1612 days ago
    Wow. What a difference! It looks like you've done well so far. I hope you feel better soon.
    1612 days ago
    Good for you for hanging in there. It's a long journey ; ) Hope tomorrow is a cheery day for you. emoticon
    1612 days ago
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