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    DAWNRHARV   10,048
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Round Two starts on Tuesday....


Sunday, August 25, 2013

Wow.... they'll be starting him on round two of radiation on Tuesday. This will be to hopefully shrink the larger problem at this time that is sitting on a nerve and in the bone. That should relieve some of the pain, also should give him back some of the use of his left arm. At this time he can barely open and close his hand and needs help with little things like buttoning buttons. So I am sitting here trying to figure out a new grocery list. This is SO close to his esophagus that I'll need to come up with options that have calories, some nutrition and that relieve some of the burn to his throat. I'm glad those options are available. =)

As for me... yesterday I got online and officially dropped both classes. I wish I'd not have opened the $200 book to the one class, and actually used the access code for the online site to do my homework.. but it is what it is. =) I'm feeling ok about it, as I know I'm feeling overwhelmed. I've got a couple new books that I found at a garage sale... (they had SO MANY good books there that it was tempting to just buy the lot but it would have required a library room!!! =) haha.) One was about trying to be a Mary in a Martha world, the other was by Elizabeth George... a woman after God's own heart. =) Then I got a devotional book that has some great devotionals by a variety of writers. I'm excited to get into them. Also excited to breakout a couple of other books that I've never quite finished. I am going to do this and get my head back where it needs to be!!!

OK... so for the accountability part of this... (ugh.) The last few days have been less than stellar. I think I only got to curves twice this week... can't even remember.. but for sure not Friday or Saturday.. and I think not Thursday either... didn't do alot of moving around either... alot of walking at the VA, but I rarely count that... I even took off my basis watch a couple days ago because I was just so mad. If I can't control a damn thing, then at least I can control that, right? If not for the good, for the bad???? What inthe world was I thinking???? =) BLECH. And food, although not anything like it was before I started this new journey in late May, was not good by any stretch... not even sure I journaled it all this week. may have skipped a day or two. Probably in the 2500 cal range. Not appalling, but definately more than it has been. Forgot to take my vitamins for a couple days... no wonder my joints are starting to ache... and this front that has settled over us has NOT helped. And water.... I had it here or there, but it was only right at 8 glasses,... if that. (I average about 12 I believe.) Need to get some groceries this week, good ones, so I have a variety of good options. Although I thought it was awesome to find chicken jerky, and even put it in 1 oz baggies, that does not one lick of good if you have a few baggies at a time, right???? EGADS!~!!! And those amazing almonds.. .butter toffee... great for a protein snack an ounce at a time, does me no real good when I'm having 2 or 3 or 4 ounces at a time!!! ACK!!! oh brother.

SO... it's back to getting this right for me. Tracking my food, drinking my water, and taking my vitamins. Going to curves, making good food choices, and spending some time every day just being still....

I feel like I've stumbled... but maybe not done a complete faceplant in the mud. Surprisingly enough, the scale is STILL going down every day... a couple tenths of a lb here and there... we'll see if all decides to catch up with me on Monday. =) If it does, then I know it's because of the choices I made. Not a tragedy, just need to make better choices. =)

Also not been on here much at all. Been sitting around feeling sorry for myself. SO... it's time to get it together. =) That's exactly what I intend to do.

Thanks for listening (reading) this random ramble. =)

d.
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XCLOSED 8/26/2013 11:49AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon (((& more hugs))) here you go... let us know how things go, do what you can, as you can to ease your grief and stress... sometimes crashes happens, so don't fret em, dust off, hold on to your boot straps & keep going... (((hugs)))

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DAWNSJOURNEY 8/25/2013 11:20AM

    Hugs and love Dawn.. you have a lot going on.. Breathe and do the very best you can every day.

We all stubble it is how we learn .. how we progress.. so you are doing just what you need to on this journey ..

One choice at a time my dear.. One choice at a time..

love and light,
Dawn

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