Okay so it is obvious to me that my laptop just doesn't want me to record a vlog today! I have tried several things to get the microphone to work and it just isn't happening. So...I guess I have to let my fingers do the walking and talking! lol
I am still here and I am still on the journey. I think that most days I am on a side trip or have made a stop for an unplanned vacation! lol Okay so let me spell it out...I AM OFF TRACK! Yep you heard it here first folks. Yeah I know it isn't the first time you heard that from me. It seems that just when I seem to be getting things going in the right direction, I run into a wall. I guess I hadn't planned on making my journey in a labyrinth! lol
This time I found that when I kept things under wraps, I did well. I was able to maintain my momentum and keep plugging away in the right direction. When I began telling people what I was doing or how much I had lost, then the bottom fell out.
Oh don't get me wrong, I haven't gained it all back but when you start seeing the pounds trying to creep back on, you begin to get concerned.
I had my AHA moment and that was great. It really helped me see that I didn't have to eat something just because it was there. I could make the decision to not eat it and be fine because I knew that if I really wanted it, I could have it.
Well that went well for a while and then...BAM! Yep you guessed it, I filed that AHA moment reference card in the back of the mental file cabinet (probably misfiled so it would be lost for a good long time).
Why is it that we learn all these things about ourselves and the way that we see food and then all of a sudden, it is like we never learned anything. We (I say we but I am really talking about ME) learn something and get good at using the information and then we seem to get too big for our britches and think we know it all and can do it on our own. I can't do this alone. I have to keep learning and keep the things that I learn in front of my face. I need support. I need to stop comparing myself to others. I have to stop trying to be perfect. This isn't a competition. This is MY LIFE! This is MY HEALTH! I can't play games. I can't fool around. I have to take this seriously. I have to remember that even the little changes that I make are making a difference. If I slip up today doesn't mean that I have messed up the whole thing.
I seem to get this all or nothing attitude at times and then when I don't stick to my plan, I just want to throw up my hands and run away. I don't give up but I don't get right back on track. It seems lately that it takes me a few days to get back on track or to even begin to think about getting back on track. That just makes it harder. I have always said that when you hit a bump in the road or fall into a pothole you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward. I need to remember that for myself just as much as I remember to tell that to others.
It is easy sometimes to jump in and support others and have the right things to say to help someone else get back on track but I seem to forget to do that for myself. The road has been bumpy and the ride just hasn't been smooth so I have to hold on and ride it out! I can get to my goal but it is going to take some time. It is going to take determination. Even if I have to pick myself up and dust myself off several times a day, I have to do it and keep doing it until I get to the goal!
Over this next week I am going to focus on the following things:
- I must drink 12 - 20 glasses of water a day.
Okay please don't tell me that I am drinking too much water. I am a big gal and at the weight that I am right now, I need to drink lots of water. It is also very hot here and so additional water is required. My doctor doesn't have a problem with it so you shouldn't either.
- I will track my food daily no matter what the outcome. Yep I am just going to focus on the task of tracking. The type and amount of food will come later. Umm little step ya'll.
- I will take all my medications as directed every day. Yeah some of you may think that should be easy but I seem to get memory loss when it comes to taking my pills.
So I will call those my FAST BREAK goals. I will be working on them this week.
Okay so I can see by the nice little clock at the bottom of the screen that it is almost 5:30am and I haven't been to bed so I think I better head that way so...
Much Love and good night!