Saturday, August 24, 2013
I've been wanting to write this for a few days now but just haven't felt up to it quite yet until now.
Its been 4.5 months since my injury (4/9/13). I never thought it would be such a long recovery process for me. At this point I am going to the chiropractor 3 times a week and also getting a 60 minute deep tissue massage once a week. I only had one week off of work with a couple long weekends thrown in the mix, otherwise besides a lift restriction for about a month or so when I returned to work I am pretty much on full duty.
Some days are better than others. I have days where I feel great and then days where I can't even walk without back spasms let alone bend over or lift things. But I still manage to get through work because I have to pay bills. Overall my managers are pretty nice but I don't think they realize that I am still feeling the results of the injury. I've been told my time is not fast enough when doing planograms or CISO areas or even putting away the freight every week.
I am thankful for such a caring chiropractic office and I love that they are wellness based so it focuses on so much more than just an adjustment. I can definitely see myself going to them for a long time and I happy I ended up there. Not that I am happy about the injury but just grateful to be in good hands.
It's no big secret lately that I have been stressed. Even my chiropractor knows about it and can tell when she adjusts me 3 times a week. I have been trying to do what I can to ease this stress but nothing seems to be getting any better or easier.
One of the ways I have been 'dealing' with being over stressed is self injury. I know this is sort of taboo to talk about but it is a real problem. In recent weeks I have been cutting myself as a way to release some of my feelings. There are no suicidal connections to it, but rather just a way to cope with everything going on in my life. Yes, I realize that this is a problem. I have tried to reach out for help since I began again (I was self injury free for a while, about 5 years). I called a local mental health place and they said they could get me in on October 2nd for an assessment. I hung up last week feeling devastated because that is a super long time to wait when it comes to something like dealing with self injury. I didn't feel comfortable disclosing the real issue to the intake lady as she was being snotty with me and I felt very judged while talking to her. On Monday I am going to try again to see if I can get help sooner. Not that I am in an absolutely terrible bad place right now, but because I know self injury is not normal for someone to deal with day in and day out.