Saturday, August 24, 2013
So I have been trying real hard for a month. Trying to be scientific about my weight loss. But I am sitting here in tears trying to stay logical. But can't I am at a loss. I have been tracking my food for so long - since 2005 - with various diets and plans. I lost 60 pounds by 2007. Then I got sick till 2010. Because of the illness iI lost 30 pounds. Was thrilled looked great. BUT I put 40 pounds back on. I started trying to take off the extra weight since 2011. NOTHING - I tracked my food again. I exercised - I even did P90X -didn't loose . My coworkers dropped sizes me nothing!. So tried INSANITY ( my kids thought maybe I wasn't exersing correctly so the monitored my workouts. Still NOTHING.
My sister than said hey lets help each other. So I joined sp. First two weeks ok. I can track food been doing it so long am tired of it. BUT hey not going to give up. Then started tracking exercise. Bought a fit bit to help. My coworkers had told me that was not eating enough so thats why I didn't loose. First week ate low end of calories and gained 2 pounds that week so I guessed they were right. So ate more. Lost 1.3 pounds. YEA ok so know I have to eat more.
This week I just didn't eat enough and gained weight. I am sooooo emotionally done. I just want to give up and say of I am going to be heavy for the rest of my life why fight it. Why when my clothes don't fit, I am eating right and exercising daily. It just doesn't make sense to continue. Maybe my body is saying - what . I am 30 -40 pounds heavier than I should be. So why????
I was so excited. My kids have all grown up so I can start doing all the things I always dreamed of. Most are physical - sailing surfing, mountain biking -sking . the list goes on. BUT need to get in shape
IS IT WORTH IT. If every other week I gain half of what i lost the week before back. If it is making me an emotional wreck.. Excited because I loose. BUT more important excited, exercising and having a blast. Unti I get on the scale the second week and then upset.
Biggest thing is don't know what I am doing wrong. Ok so didn't eat a lot. Is that really going to make me gain. D
Sorry for rant but I needed to get it out and since no ones home I need to vent my frustrations to someone.