Friday, August 23, 2013
Iíve done some reflecting on my sonís comment about me looking healthy and attractive, which I mentioned in a recent blog. It strikes me interesting that I donít consider myself attractive because I see my imperfect, still 15 pounds overweight body when I look in the mirror. I sense that what he may be seeing as healthy is the peace and calm, yet energetic person I have recently become. I am finally feeling at peace because Iím not stressing out over the bondage to food and exercise that Iíve felt for SO long. I am at peace with food and Iím not trying to exercise every spare minute, but allowing myself time to do the things I love the most. Iím taking the mental time I would usually spend thinking about what can I eat next, or fussing at myself for having eaten too much or the wrong thing, or fussing at myself for not exercising, and using it for positive things, like focusing on what Iím doing and really enjoy it as I do it. I am also utilizing the time I normally would spend eating, or foraging for food, to connect with friends, write in my journal or blog and visit with SparkFriends. I am surprised at how much time and effort I used to put into all the negative thinking and activities. So, maybe my son could read my face and demeanor as healthy and attractive.
If he can call me healthy and attractive, and I consider him to be very frank and not say what he doesnít mean, I have no excuse to be so hard on myself. A silly thing kind of triggered this thought today. I was outside at my clientís house today and her neighbor, who drives a Jaguar, said he likes my car. It is a gray 2013 Toyota Corolla. It is new, but it was filthy today. I was embarrassed that he was even looking at my car, yet he, the owner of a sharp Jaguar, saw beauty in my dusty Corolla.
People donít always look and see our flaws. They recognize our beauty. We can do better for ourselves than be so critical of ourselves. Just love ourselves for who we are!
My son, so smart he is, suggested I type my blogs in Word, so I can keep from losing them, as I have done a bunch of times by inadvertently typing the wrong key when I've typed right into the blog entry box. Now I copy and paste from Word and have no more problems!