Friday, August 23, 2013
I have gotten lots of comments and messages from people who are praying for Becca and her family. And I deeply appreciate those messages and those prayers. I am certainly praying as well. It's a comfort to know that people are sending so much healing energy to her.
But I'm having a lot of trouble, emotionally, with the "Put everything in God's hands; God will cure Becca" people. I know they mean well, but their version of God fills me with fiery rage.
Because if God is so freakin' clever and all-powerful, why is Becca going through this in the first place? Why was there a tumor at all? What kind of psychotically insecure egomaniac is this "God" person that he's up there thinking, "Wow, I'm feeling underappreciated. I think I'll give this innocent child a brain tumor that will cause her to spend months suffering and put her family through the kind of unimaginable trauma that will lead to life-long emotional scars, just so I can cure it and have a bunch of people appreciate me."
Why would *anyone* want to worship that kind of sadistic lunatic? If I met him, I'd just want to punch him in the throat.
I don't believe that God controls all things in our lives and this is all part of some kind of master plan. I believe that when God gave us free will, that meant stepping back from being a controller, not just of our decisions but also of the world in general. But I believe that we were blessed with a special kind of grace: the power of prayer. I believe that we were graced with an ability to affect events, not hugely, but to nudge them to a better place. We can't pray away a hurricane, but we might be able to diminish its power or "scooch" it aside a little.
We might be able to increase a child's odds of surviving.
And so I am grateful for the power of prayer, and the fact that so many people are praying so hard. But please don't tell me that this is all "God's plan."