Thursday, August 22, 2013
I work at a community college in Illinois and we started classes on Monday. It's great to have the students back on campus and the excitement of the new semester. Even though I love the start of a new year (who doesn't love new school supplies?) it is also a really stressful time of year for advising and teaching my math class. It takes a few weeks for me to get back into the swing of teaching four days a week and being a student myself.
When I started taking classes a little more than a year ago, I did it because I know that I am better as a person when I am pursuing something. The idea of earning a new degree keeps me moving, it keeps me going when all I want to do is crawl into bed. And that is still true for me today. I am usually at work about 6:30am to do my own homework or grade homework for my students until work starts at 8am. Then I work all day, teach my class and go to the gym. I usually get home between 6:30 and 7pm.
It makes for a full day, and a full week, but when I have a schedule, I do better. I work out harder, I am more consistent and I plan ahead better for food. Well, usually that's the case. This summer I added a wrench into the plan when I started the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. In a perfect world, I would eliminate the foods from my diet that hurt my stomach, but the truth is that the world is not perfect. I have had a few days each week for the past couple weeks when my stomach was really upset with me, and the rest of my digestive system too.
When I feel so run down, I don't want to eat, I don't want to go grocery shopping and I definitely don't want to work out. But I'm still pushing myself. What I am focusing on now is to make sure I have food that I can eat in my apartment. I have to cook so much more of my food, which is time consuming, and I have to make sure that I have that time set aside every day. No matter how much cooking I do on Sunday, I still have to put the meals together every day. There are definitely days when I want to give up, like this week when I weighed myself and had gained weight. I'm only eating whole foods, how could I have gained weight?
Part of this special diet (which is not meant to last forever, just a year or two), which I'm doing to heal my digestive system, not to lose weight, is that I have to give up whole food groups. If I hear one more time that you can't be successful by giving up entire types of food, I might not respond very patiently. One thing that I have learned since starting this journey almost nine months ago is that everyone has to travel their own path. Maybe one person can handle having chocolate in their apartment, but I can't. Maybe someone is okay eating gluten, but my body does not like that. I am doing my best to make sure I am traveling my own path on this journey. I listen to the experts, read the article, research the science...but in the end, this is my life and I am the only one who can live it, right?
Maybe I'm just venting a little today, sorry if that's the case. I know that I still have a lot to work on...my weight and my self-confidence. I still look at myself and see all that I need to accomplish, not where I started and have come from. Maybe that will be part of my journey for 2014...:)